“I thought she was Grampa Darling’s favorite.”
Devlin scoffs. “His favorite to manipulate.”
We’re quiet for a moment, and then I take my shot. I’ve wanted this since the day I walked into Faulkner and saw Dixie on her knees in front of Devlin. I didn’t imagine this was how it would end, but it’s time that it does.
“I don’t like what you do at school, either,” I say quietly, keeping my gaze steady on his.
Devlin draws back, a frown pulling together between his brows. “Is someone still messing with you?”
“No,” I say. “Not since the day you got into it with Royal and defended me in front of the whole school.”
“Good.” He laces his fingers through mine and kisses the back of my hand.
I speak before he can change the subject. “Devlin, I want to be with you, but I won’t lie. I hate what you guys do at school. I hate the whole Doll and Dog thing. Why can’t everyone just be who they are? Like we are here.”
“It’s not that easy,” he says, trying to roll away. I hold tighter, throwing a leg over his hip.
“Why not?”
“It’s not my decision,” he says.
“You made me the Dog,” I point out. “And you undid it. I think it’s that easy if you want it to be.”
He’s quiet for a long moment. “Okay,” he says at last, nodding. “I’ll make it happen. For you.”
“Really?”
“I don’t give out those necklaces,” he says. “I gave one to Dolly when we were freshmen. That’s it, Crystal. It’s not my deal. I’ll talk to my cousins, but you’ll probably have to let us each keep one Doll.”
I swallow hard, trying not to feel the blow of that one word—us.He wants to keep one Darling Doll, too.
Which is fair, I remind myself. He can’t take Dolly’s necklace. She’s the original Darling Doll, the one the rest are named for. But even knowing he doesn’t love her that way, the fact that he wants to let her wear that label forever still stings.
“Okay,” I say. “But no more Darling Dog.”
“That was around before us,” he says. “If we didn’t pick one…”
“Then the Midnight Swans would,” I fill in.
He doesn’t answer, but he doesn’t have to. When he avoids my eyes, it’s enough of an answer.
“I know about your secret society,” I say, squeezing his hand. “I was in that basement. That’s where they meet, right?”
“I don’t want to lie to you,” he says. “So don’t ask me about it. All I can tell you is that I didn’t know Royal was there, and I had no idea my family had anything to do with it. You found out when I did.”
“Okay,” I say, nodding. “I believe you.” I run my hand up his, pressing our palms together. Devlin searches my eyes a moment as if he can’t believe I’d let him off that easy. But some things are not my business. I’m not going to force him to tell me what he doesn’t want to tell me. We’re our own people, with our own pasts, and that’s okay. I’d rather leave my shameful past where he never has to see it, and I respect him enough to afford him the same privacy.
“Crystal…” he says slowly, then clears his throat before continuing. “I’m not telling you what to do, or how your dad should run your family, but maybe your brother needs more help than he’s getting. Like, mental help.”
He tenses, as if expecting me to get angry and pull away. Instead, I swallow hard, tightening my fingers in his, never wanting to let go. “I know,” I admit. “My dad would never allow it, though. The men in my family don’t go to therapy. Talking about your feelings is like a weakness in their eyes.”
“I think it goes beyond talking about feelings. He was fucking kidnapped. I mean, I’m surprised there’s not some kind of court-mandated therapy after that.”
“Well, he didn’t go to court,” I say slowly. “He didn’t do anything wrong. I’m sure someone told Dad he needed to see someone, but he’s not going to talk.”
Devlin moves his thumb across the back of my hand in gentle strokes. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to upset you. I know it’s not easy for you.”
“For me? Nothing happened to me. My brother—I can’t imagine.” I break off, shaking my head and forcing back the ache in my throat.