“I know,” Devlin says, winding a strand of hair behind my ear. “But you’re my girl, and he’s not. So I’m more worried how it’s affecting you.”
“What about you?” I ask, forcing myself to face this truth at last. We’ve avoided this topic up until now. I don’t want to think about him being the boy who confessed to destroying my brother’s life. “Do you have a court date?”
“No,” Devlin says, sighing. “They ended up letting me go without a charge. They had no evidence against me.”
“Really?” I ask, pushing up on an elbow. “I didn’t know that.”
“I would have told you, but when I asked to talk to you when I got home, you dumped me.”
I wince at the callous way he says that—because it’s true. “I’m sorry, Devlin,” I whisper. “You know I didn’t want to.”
He squeezes me against him. “I know, Sugar.”
“So, they only had your confession as evidence for the arrest?”
“Yeah,” he says. “The fact that I got that text and then took you to the school looking for him convinced them I didn’t know where he was.”
“When did you find out?” I ask, my heart suddenly thudding in my chest. It’s another question I’ve been scared to ask, but one I know I need the answer to.
“Where he was?” Devlin asks. “I got it when we were here that evening, but I saw the text about the body first. When you were talking to your dad at the construction site, I saw the other text that said he was at the school.”
“Why didn’t you tell me right then?”
“I didn’t want to scare you,” he said. “I should never have run down to the site. It was stupid to upset you like that, and I didn’t want to upset you again if we didn’t find anything up at the school.”
“So you tried to keep me out,” I said. “You should have known I’d just follow.”
“I should have,” Devlin says with a small, sad smile. “And I shouldn’t have wanted to protect someone else. You come first, Crystal. From now until always.”
My heart melts, and a swell of emotion rises in my chest. I’m deliriously happy, and yet my heart breaks for every moment we won’t get, every kiss we won’t share. These beautiful, stolen moments are all we get.
“Devlin,” I whisper, pressing my heart to his, so he can feel it racing just for him. “Don’t talk like that.”
He smooths my hair back and kisses my forehead. “I was protecting something that doesn’t matter. The Swans don’t matter. You matter. Only you.”
“You know your family won’t let us be together any more than mine will.”
“You’re wrong,” Devlin says. “My dad would never want me to repeat his mistake.”
“Your family is not just your dad,” I point out.
He nods. “My granddad doesn’t listen to anyone who doesn’t tell him what he wants to hear. But we’ll make it, Crystal. We will.”
We lay there in silence for a minute, clinging to each other while the hand of time moves silently, inexorably, towards the end ofus.The future and the past are inching closer and closer, ready to collide, to trap us between two impossible choices and crush us under their slow, agonizing weight.
I try not to think about the fact that his life is planned out the same way his dad’s was. What if Grampa Darling forces him to marry Dolly? What will he do to Dolly if she refuses? To Devlin? Could I stand in the way, refusing to let it happen, if I knew one or both of them would be hurt?
“What if they won’t let us be together?” I ask, anguish gripping me at the thought.
“Don’t worry,” Devlin says, cradling me in his arms, his voice brimming with the conviction of a desperate man. “Things will be different for us, Crystal. I promise.”
“How?” I ask, my throat thick. “What if this is all we get—clandestine evenings when no one is around? Is that enough for you?”
“It won’t be all,” he says fiercely. “I promise you, Crystal. We’ll find a way to be together. If I have to go against my family, be disowned, and leave my name behind, then that’s what I’ll do.”
I swallow hard, searching his eyes. “You’d do that?”
“For you I would,” he whispers, cupping my soft cheek in his rough palm. “Would you?”