TWENTY
Blaze
I strodeto the locked door that led to the stairs, typed in the code, and let it swing open, already feeling rejuvenated by the mere idea of meditation. I was just stepping out into the first waft of fresh air when Dess’s voice followed me.
“Where are you going?”
When I glanced back, she was leaning over the side of the sofa where she sat beside Talon. She’d been watching the way Talon knitted so attentively that I hadn’t thought she would notice me leaving.
The casual way she spoke to me gave me a weird sense of relief despite the way she’d reacted to me the one time I’d gotten particularly close to her. She hadn’t shown a single particle of violence toward any of us since then, and obviously I hadn’t damaged her trust in me irreparably. She seemed to have brushed that moment aside as if it’d never happened, and I was happy to let her do that.
I tipped my head toward the stairs. “I’m going up to the rooftop deck. You haven’t seen that yet, have you?” I paused and then decided it was safe to ask as long as I remembered to keep my hands to myself, which I didn’t think was going to be a problem after the lesson she’d taught me the first time. “Want to come?”
She sprang to her feet with the effortless yet practiced grace I couldn’t help admiring. “Get out of this place for a bit? Hell, yes.”
I opened the door wider for Dess as she approached, and she gave me a quick smile as she passed me before studying the stairwell on the other side. “These stairs lead to the roof?”
I pointed upward with a nod. “You’ve got to have some kind of outdoor space, or it’s not much of a home, as far as I’m concerned. I try to get up there every day, at least for my ten minutes of meditation.”
Dess had already started up the steps. She glanced back at me over her shoulder with an arch of her eyebrows. “You don’t strike me as the meditation type. But then, I wouldn’t have pegged Talon as a knitter either.”
“I aim to surprise,” I said in an automatically teasing tone, and caught myself just before I flashed her a flirty smile. I was too much in the habit of turning on the charm, and she made way too appealing a target for it. But she’d made her interest—or lack thereof—very clear.
“Julius taught me,” I added in a more subdued tone as we tramped up the stairs, Dess in front of me. “He has a whole yoga routine he does, actually. He showed me all the moves, but the meditation part was the only thing that stuck. It helps me keep my focus for the rest of the day.”
Dess hummed to herself but didn’t ask anything else. Her focus was fixed on the door at the top of the stairs.
That one wasn’t locked. There was no point, since no one could get up here anyway—we’d made sure of that.
As we stepped out into the warm summer sunlight, I made a quick scan of our security measures. The entire space was as big as the common room downstairs. The seamless wooden wall that surrounded it stood ten feet tall, and no structure nearby rose high enough to give a view inside. The outer walls of the apartment building itself were sheer and designed to avoid offering enough ledges or footholds for a person to climb up. The only way anyone was getting a peek or a toe onto our deck was by helicopter.
That was also the only way anyone was going to get off it, other than by going back down the stairs. Dess might have had amazing skills, but she couldn’t scramble down a fifteen-story building that offered nothing to hold on to. And I didn’t think she was going to be summoning any helicopters.
The space was safe both from intruders and from her making another escape attempt.
I rolled my shoulders back, relaxing with the mental confirmation of what I’d already known, and dragged in a deep breath of the warm air. Being up here was way better than the stuffy greenhouse-style yard at the safe house we’d left behind.
Dess took in the space with the same calm alertness she seemed to approach almost every situation. She ambled across the patio tiles and sank onto the wicker sofa near the door. After a moment, she tipped her head to the sky with a small smile.
The look suited her. In the full sunlight, she glowed with artless beauty. The light shone across her silky black hair, the faint breeze stirring the waves against her shoulders. Her smooth skin seemed to soak up every ounce of the sun’s rays. Had any of the other guys seen her in this light, or was I the only one privileged enough?
It was a privilege.
I forced myself to look away, moving toward the center of the sun-warmed deck where I most enjoyed sitting. I settled there with my legs crossed and got started on my meditation.
With each deep breath, I let go of more and more of the thoughts in their constant whirl in my head. Vaguely, I sensed Dess stand up and move around the roof, but I didn’t let her draw too much of my attention. A certainty filled me that even if she did pull off an impossible escape, I’d find her. I had before, and I would again.
Even knowing this, she had too much presence for me to completely ignore her, so I allowed my awareness of her to take a fundamental role in my meditation. Stillness had always been my enemy—something I couldn’t quite capture—but the movement of the world around me gave my mind an outlet for its frenetic energy. A car honking below, the occasional shouts from the street, Dess’s slow circuit of the deck. All of it centered me in a way I couldn’t anywhere else.
Keeping myself still yet in tune with the motion around me despite the chaos in my life gave me a sense of calming reassurance. I could process and release all the input, and it grew sharper with each moment I breathed through the meditative exercise. When my mind latched onto a thought, I released it and allowed it to flow back out of me.
I’d missed my sessions here while we were staked out at the safe house, and now that I was back, I already felt more capable of tackling the world. I felt invincible.
I concluded with a few final deep breaths, adjusting to the shift in my thoughts and my sense of my body, no longer quite so restless—for now. Then I opened my eyes.
Dess was leaning against the wall near Garrison’s telescope, watching me with her brow knit. I didn’t acknowledge her expression as I stood and stretched, releasing the last dregs of tension that remained in my body. With a great sigh, I finally met her gaze fully. “That’s better.”
She gave me a smile that looked a little puzzled, and her gaze shifted to the telescope. She stepped closer, cocking her head. Garrison would have thrown a fit seeing her running a finger down the sleek black surface of his prized possession.