“Of course. I’ll see what I can find.” Gideon tapped through to a different app so eagerly that a rush of affection filled my chest. If anyone could get me answers, it was him.
“What do you know about her?” he asked. “The more details you can give me, the easier it’ll be for me to narrow down the search.”
I worried at my lower lip with my teeth. “Not much, unfortunately. I’m sorry. Her first name was Josey, although for all I know she’d have switched to a different name if she was trying to hide from both my father and Xavier after she left here. I never knew her last name. If she was with Xavier for a while before she came to the Bend and met my father, I guess she was living here maybe seven or eight years. She’d have been in her early twenties when she had me—my dad only went for younger women—so she’d be in her early to mid forties now if she’s still alive.”
Gideon’s fingers flew over the touchscreen. “Anything else? Did she mention any places she liked? Did she have any favorite activities…?”
I thought back to those long-ago days as hard as I could. “She loved the outdoors. She always wanted to get out of the county to the state park nearby or places like that, but Dad didn’t like her taking me too far away from him. He was probably worried she’d take off on him and he’d lose both of us. She had a thing for Indian food—that was how I first got to try it. I don’t know how helpful that is. I was so little that I didn’t really pay much attention.”
“That’s understandable,” Gideon said, more gently than I was used to from him. “I’ll see what I can dig up. It might take some time, but there aren’t many people who can escape me if I put my mind to it.” He shot me a grin.
The thought of just sitting next to him while he worked made me restless. I squirmed on the bed for a moment and then got up to see if anyone else needed anything in the rest of the house. “I’ll be out there if you need me,” I said.
When I pulled open the door, I found Jenner on the other side, a plate with a sandwich in his hand. When I startled, he smiled sheepishly. “I didn’t mean to surprise you. I thought you could use some lunch. I haven’t seen you in the kitchen since this morning.”
“Thanks,” I said, unexpectedly touched. There’d been a time when Jenner had been willing to kill me for the new allegiances he’d made. We’d come a long way since then.
I took the plate from him and headed to the stairs so I could eat in the dining room. Jenner followed. He stopped me at the bottom of the staircase.
“Look,” he said, “I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I heard a little of what you were saying to your friend there… You’re having him search for your mom—for Josey?”
Any appetite I’d had abruptly fled. “Yeah. Did you know her?” I wasn’t sure exactly how long he’d been working for my dad.
Jenner nodded, his mouth slanting at a pained angle that put my nerves even more on edge. “Why are you wondering about her now? It’s been so long…”
I shrugged with forced nonchalance. “Xavier said some things about her—and, I mean, I’ve never really known what happened to her. Dad wasn’t exactly super open with me.”
Jenner glanced at the floor and then back at me. It was obvious he didn’t want to say whatever was on his mind. He dragged in a rough breath. “I’m so sorry, Mercy. I thought you knew. You’re not going to find her. She’s gone.”
All the air squeezed out of my lungs. “You mean dead.”
He inclined his head, and even though I’d been prepared for that fact, it hit me so hard the plate slipped from my hands. It smashed on the floor, the halves of the sandwich falling apart. I ducked down, my legs a little wobbly, and grabbed at the pieces to clean up the mess.
“How do you know?” I asked, keeping my head low in case my eyes decided to spill over. I still needed to keep a strong front around the men working for me.
“One of the Claws men I was working with at the time helped Tyrell dispose of the body,” Jenner said. “He mentioned it to me—and maybe a few other people, one of whom told Tyrell he was talking, because then we never saw that guy again either. You know how your father was when people went against him.”
I inhaled shakily. “Is that why he had my mom killed? She ‘went against’ him somehow?”
“I don’t know the details. I’d heard him complaining about her, that she was paranoid and thought someone might be after her, that she hadn’t managed to get pregnant again, that she fussed over you too much.” Jenner paused. “I didn’t agree with any of that. She was a good mom to you, from what I saw. But Tyrell… Tyrell didn’t really have that paternal instinct, did he?”
A choked laugh sputtered out of me. “No, he sure as hell did not.” I straightened up with the pieces of plate and sandwich clutched in my hands and carried them over to the kitchen garbage can. All these years, somewhere in the back of my mind I’d held on to a little hope, but it’d all been for nothing. She’d been out of reach the whole time.
Jenner came with me. “I’m so sorry, Mercy. I wish there was an easier way to tell you. I assumed you’d already found out one way or another.”
“Don’t apologize,” I told him, forcing myself to meet his eyes and willing back the tears that were burning in the back of mine. “I’m glad you told me. I needed to know. Thank you for being honest with me.”
Of course Dad had killed her. Of course he’d never owned up about it to me. It’d been the most obvious answer the whole time, but suddenly I was more furious with him than I’d ever been before. I’d have given anything to bring him back to life just so I could kill him all over again.
She’d loved me, tried to look out for me, and he’d taken her from me like he’d taken so much else over the years.
I couldn’t imagine eating anything right now. Shock was still surging through me, numbing the turmoil of my emotions. I headed back upstairs. There was no point in wasting Gideon’s time with a search that would lead nowhere.
Gideon raised his head as I came into the room. At the sight of my face, his smile vanished. “What’s wrong?”
“You can stop looking,” I said, my voice coming out rough. “I got my answer. She isn’t out there to be found. She’s in an unmarked grave somewhere—wherever my dad had her dumped.”
His eyes widened. He set his tablet aside and motioned me over. I sank down on the bed next to him, and he slid his arm around me.