21
Mercy
I staredat Kaige in shock, still reeling from everything he’d revealed. The abuse he’d suffered at his parents’ hands… the way they’d let others do things even worse to him… I couldn’t begin to fathom his pain.
He looked so miserable, so unlike his usual cheerfully flirty self, that it made my heart ache. He was tensed as if he thought at any second I was going to tell him to get the hell away from me.
I entwined his fingers in mine and gripped them tightly, sending all the assurance and strength I could to him. He had to know his past wasn’t going to change how I saw him.
“It isn’t your fault,” I said. “You were betrayed by the people who were supposed to love you. That pain shaped you into the man you are today, but it doesn’t mean something’s wrong with you.”
“But it is,” Kaige whispered. “I feel the rage and—and the fear inside of me almost like it’s alive. I’ve tried putting it behind me so many times but it just takes over at the worst possible moments.” He pressed his hand to his temple. “Maybe coming here was a bad idea.”
I shook my head. “No. You faced up to your past and opened up to me. I think that means you’re healing, Kaige. You just don’t know it yet.”
I rubbed his shoulder with my other hand. His unpredictable and erratic behavior made so much sense now. Kaige had been dealing with his trauma, not letting anybody in, not wanting to give anyone any power over him after how much his parents had taken away. “I’m glad you told me,” I added.
He scoffed. “And how does it make you feel about me?”
“Nothing’s changed,” I said simply as I stroked my fingers across his back. It was ironic how I felt like I needed to be so gentle with this big man who was at least twice my size. But in this vulnerable state, I could almost see the younger Kaige, the six-year-old whose parents had led him out here one last time only to use him as a prop to try to fuel their addiction.
Kaige looked over at me. For the first time, I caught a hint of hope in his dark eyes. Affection swelled in my chest. Without thinking, I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips.
He kissed me back only tentatively, as if he still wasn’t sure he could believe that I was for real. I moved my lips to his cheek, then to the rough scuff of stubble on his jaw. A breath shuddered out of him, followed by an eager growl that sounded more like the man I knew.
I walked my fingers teasingly up his chest. “You know, I’ve had a lot of fun while you were in charge. But maybe it’s time you learned how to let someone else share that role with you.”
Desire still shone in Kaige’s eyes, but I could see him debating my suggestion. It was probably incredibly hard for him to even consider it.
“You don’t have to give up complete control,” I said, and pressed another kiss to the side of his neck. “It’d just be a little back and forth. If it bothers you too much, you just have to say so.”
Kaige let out a groan. “It’s too hard to say no to you. You’re a fucking enchantress, I swear. Come here.”
He leaned forward, but only close enough that his mouth barely grazed mine. When he opened his mouth, the hot air of his breath played on my lips. I made an impatient sound, my panties dampening in anticipation of the passion I knew he could unleash.
“Why don’t you demonstrate what you’re thinking?” he murmured, his deep baritone so sexy I was instantly twice as wet.
I wasn’t going to wait for a second invitation. My whole body was humming with hunger for him now. I glanced around, making sure we were well out of sight from the rest of the beach, and climbed onto his lap.
He adjusted me so my legs straddled his muscular thighs, then met my eyes as if to say, Your turn. I smiled and shifted forward, letting my legs ride up to his hips. My pussy settled against the bulge of his erection through our jeans. I wet my lips, holding back a moan at that first bit of giddy friction and the bolt of pleasure that shot up from my core.
I nudged his chest, and he tensed for a second before lying back on the sand. Splaying my fingers against the planes of muscle, I ran my hands down to his six pack and up again to tease along his jaw. “Is this okay?”
His hands came around to circle my waist. “More than okay.”
I didn’t want him just lying there, though. Maybe it was time he took a few orders from someone other than Wylder. “Kiss me,” I said.
He cocked an eyebrow. “Where?”
I pressed a finger to my lips. Kaige eased back up on his elbows, meeting me when I lowered myself toward him. He gave the corner of my mouth a quick peck before sliding his lips right across mine with a flick of his tongue. I shivered eagerly and moved my head so that I could kiss him harder.
“Don’t be impatient,” Kaige chided. “I think it’s my turn to call the shots.”
I huffed my disappointment, and he chuckled. “I like this way too, wildcat,” he said before gently pressing a kiss to my lips.
I sighed just as his tongue slipped into my mouth, gently playing against my own as he tilted his head to kiss me deeper. We made out like that, switching the tempo between shallow kisses and deeper ones, trading control back and forth.
My hips began to move against his, seeking out more of that delicious pressure. Kaige growled and gripped my hips, but he didn’t stop me. I sank down against him, putting my arms around his shoulders. The solid planes of his chest almost crushed my boobs. I liked the feel of them, the hardness against the soft curves of my body.