“Aw, they sound sweet. I miss that baby stage,” she sighed.
Did she mean that? And how much? He’d always wanted kids but Devaney already had Chase and Logan. She might miss the feeling of having an infant fall asleep on her chest or that sweet smell you could only find on the crown of a baby’s head, but that didn’t mean you wanted to go back to dirty diapers and middle of the night feedings. That was a lot to ask, but he couldn’t help the images of a pregnant Devy, a Devy holding their newborn, the five of them having a nice afternoon in the yard from flitting through his mind. Goddamn that was something he wanted.
But that was a conversation for later. Right now he had more immediate concerns, like how he missed having Devy in his home, knowing how she was, and making sure she wasn’t running herself ragged.
“There’s a revolving door of well-wishers going to see the girls and I said I’d bring a meal by soon. I’m sure they wouldn’t mind an extra friendly face and pair of hands if you want to come.”
She made a noncommittal noise, and his brow furrowed. It was fine if she didn’t want to see some strangers’ babies, but he didn’t think that was it. And he really didn’t like her not being here so he could see her face, read her expression. Coax her into taking what she wanted, or hell, just letting her pluck it off the silver platter he was offering it to her on.
Be my princess, Devy—I’ll worship the ground you walk on and give you the world.
What came out of his mouth was, “I’d like you to call me to come get you once Carter’s picked up the boys.”
There was a sigh on the other end and his gut clenched. Was this when she was going to tell him thanks but no thanks, it’d been nice the past several days but she didn’t need him when she was feeling just fine?
“Eric, I can’t. I have so much to catch up on at home that I didn’t get to this week and now I have to look for a new job and—”
It sounded as though her voice caught in her throat and the squeeze in his abdomen moved from his stomach to his heart. She wasn’t going to tell him she wasn’t interested; she was overwhelmed. Well that he could help with.
He did have to catch himself from telling her she didn’t need to find a new job if she didn’t want to—he made plenty of money, had for years now, and she could come be his. He wanted her to be his.
Then she could take a break, unwind from all the stress that had been plaguing her since the divorce and recover from the emotional abuse Carter had been heaping on her for years. Plus, he lived in the boys’ school district so nothing would have to change. Except maybe some house renovations since there was plenty of space for the boys to each have their own room but he’d have to figure something else out for the inpatient room. Something clever too because he really didn’t want them asking too many questions. Eric wasn’t ashamed of the things he was into but it wasn’t appropriate for the kids to know about.
But he was getting ahead of himself, way too far ahead. For now, he needed to focus on getting her here this weekend.
“I hear you. But I’d still really like to spend time with you. How about this? I’ve got little patients on Saturday and Sunday so you’ll spend Friday night here, I’ll bring you back to your place before my first patient arrives Saturday morning and you can get some chores done. I’ll pick you up on my lunch break and you can do some job searching here while I see a couple patients in the afternoon and we’ll do the same thing Sunday. Sound good?”
He could picture her wrenching her mouth to the side as she thought, maybe gnawing on her bottom lip. Her overthinking brain was probably telling her this was too much too fast and she should refuse, maybe just agree to a date. An actual date, not playing doctor at his house. But the thing was, he didn’t want to date her. He’d take it if that was all Devy was ready to give right now but he was sold.
Much as his friends had been when they found their littles, he was certain. It felt different from the play partners he’d had, different from his “patients,” different from the women he’d dated. Devy was the one, he was sure. But if she needed some time to realize that too then he would give it to her. He wouldn’t blame her for being gun shy after Carter, that piece of shit.
He scrubbed a hand over the back of his neck as he waited another beat for her response.Just say yes, Devy. Say yes to this weekend, say yes to forever.
“Isn’t that a lot of driving for you?”
Her shy question made his chest feel like it was full of sunshine and birds singing and all that good animated musical stuff. But he’d tamp down the thrill so she wouldn’t freak out over his eagerness.
“It’s not far and I don’t mind driving. Gives me a chance to spend some time in that sweet ride I’ve got in my garage. Not like I need it for my commute,” he teased and goddamn if there weren’t fucking woodland creatures skittering around when she laughed.
“I guess that’s true. But I don’t want you feeling like you’re playing chauffeur. And what if I need to pick up the boys unexpectedly or run an errand? I—”
“You’re thinking about this way too hard. If you want to drive yourself here because it will make you feel safer or less anxious then you absolutely should. I’ve got plenty of room in the driveway. But if you’re doing it for my convenience, don’t bother. I like taking care of you that way, and honestly, being in control of you.”
That was probably too much of the truth, especially if Carter had been controlling and overbearing. But she should know what she was getting into with him. He’d frame it more as being attentive, devoted, gallant even. But not everyone would feel that way.
More thinking. He hated all the people who had ever made Devy feel like she couldn’t accept something that was on offer because they’d resent her for it. What the hell?
“You’re sure it’s not too much trouble?”
“Not only is it no trouble, I’d be delighted. Get to spend more time with you, look after you—that’s my jam, Devy. Not to be confused with jam hands.”
She giggled again and it was too freaking cute. He wanted to make her laugh and smile all the time, his bright little buttercup. Except when he was making her blush and squirm and moan, of course.