“You know, I thought of something.” Her fingers played along my forearm, then slid over my hand on the wheel. I raised an eyebrow, cuing her to continue. “I always thought of Harris astheex. I told Maeve and Haven my relationship with him was the one that shaped me for all future relationships, but that isn’t true. My relationship with you—as wonky and messed up as it’s been—is the one that’s shaped me the most. If I’m interested in a guy, I wonder if he’ll get my snark like you do. Or if he’ll find me to be a snob when I’m only reserved until I get to know and trust people. If he doesn’t make my heart go wild the way it does around you, then I don’t bother. If I don’t feel like I’ll explode if I don’t see him—even if it’s just to tell him he’s a jackass—I wonder if it’s even worth trying.”
I had no idea how to respond, so I stayed quiet, my heart thundering in my ears. Yael let out a wry laugh and dropped her hands heavily onto her lap. “Of course, this is why I’m perpetually single. My standards are pretty impossible.”
Tension inside my head had built and built as she said everything I had ever wanted to hear. The soft hum she made when I didn’t speak right away was a match dropped in kerosene, setting me off in an explosion of disbelief.
“What the hell, Yael?” I gritted out, switching the Tesla to autopilot.
She flinched, her body backing toward the door. “Uh—”
I grabbed her hand, bringing it to my mouth to bite. “You’re a monster.” I bit each of her fingers until she stopped trying to tug her hand away. “You just say that shit, like kind of important, soul-baring shit, as if you’re telling me the weather?”
“I guess I do.”
I threw my hands up, feeling like I’d taken crazy pills. “Years, Yael. I’ve waited years for you to come around, knowing it’d never happen, and now you’re telling meI’mthe standard by which you measure every fucking guy you’ve dated?”
She threw her hands out in much the same way. “I’m just now realizing it, Alex! I’ve beenangrywith you. Now that I’m not, I’m able to see clearly.” She punched my shoulder without much venom behind it. “Stop yelling at me, you ass.”
“Then stop waiting until I’m driving my damn car to say these, like, magic words I can hardly believe.”
She punched me again. “You don’t believe me?”
Catching her hand, I laid it on my chest. “Idobelieve you. It’s just...I don’t think you understand. In all the years since we met, I have never been able to move past that initial feeling.”
“What was the feeling?”
Leaning my head back on the rest, I glanced her way. “Longing, pining, aching, whatever you want to call it. I’ve watched you for a decade, and it has tormented me. But it tormented me to look away, so I never have. I’ve ached for you, Yael, no matter how angry I’ve gotten at you.”
“I’m saying I felt that too, Alex. But my answer to that uncomfortable, impossible feeling was to rage against it. You might have noticed every man I’ve been with has been the polar opposite of you.”
“Douchey, sweater-wearing motherfuckers,” I mumbled, making her giggle.
“Exactly. The polar opposite of my douchey, skateboard-riding motherfucker.”
“Yours, huh?” I really liked the sound of that.
“Yep.” She unbuckled her seat belt and got on her knees to lean across the console and draw her tongue up the side of my face. “I licked you, so you’re mine.”
I couldn’t keep the stupid grin off my face. My girl was capable of being so damn sweet sometimes.
My girl.That’d take some getting used to.
“If those are the rules, then you’re mine too, ’cause I’ve done a whole lot of licking since last night.”
“Clearly. Although the licking wears off, so you’ll have to keep doing it if you want to keep me,” she teased.
I eyed her up and down, still in disbelief any of this was happening. “Not a problem, Boo.”
“I have no doubt.” I let her hand drop, but instead of taking it back, she threaded our fingers together. “My point of all I just said was I’m glad you came with me this weekend.”
“I’m glad I let your hungover ass talk me into it.” I sighed, squeezing her fingers. “You’re done raging?”
“Let’s face it, Alex, I’m going to get pissy with you from time to time. And I’m sure you’ll get pissy with me. I’m not suddenly a different person. But I also feel relieved, you know? I don’t have to fight to stay away from you anymore...I hope.”
I kissed the back of her hand, then rubbed my lips over her knuckles. “You wouldn’t be you if there wasn’t a low-level threat of eruption whenever you walk into a room.”
She snorted and relaxed into her seat. “I guess you like your women difficult and complicated.”
“Nope. I like one difficult, complicated woman.”