“Thank you, Murray.” So much for her calling me Alex when I walked in. Damn. “I’ll be here for a little longer, so…”
“I’ll wait.”
She nodded, her lips pressed in a tight line, then turned her attention back to Phillip.
I walked around the store, checking out the bling in the cases, ignoring the periodic camera flashes from fans on the other side of the glass.
“Murray, I’m ready to leave,” Yael said from the front of the store.
I strode to her, fighting my every instinct to pull her into my arms. The guard at the front of the store pressed his hand to his headpiece, nodding as he listened.
“We’ve got a team ready to escort you to your room. If you’ll follow Darren and Chico, they’ll keep you safe,” he said.
The crowd outside the shop had grown, and a team of black-clad security guards had created a clear path for us. Yael gasped at the sheer number of people, her eyes darting to mine.
“I’ve got you, boo. You’re good.” I took her hand, and she didn’t resist as we were taken through the mall and hotel. At the bank of elevators, security kept everyone back, allowing us to board by ourselves. Yael let me hold her hand all the way up to the twentieth floor and then to her room at the end of a long hallway.
She broke contact to find her keycard in her purse and let us in. When the door clicked closed, she whirled around, her waves wild on her shoulders.
“I don’t know why you’re here,” she said.
“You, Boo. I told you I wouldn’t leave. Where you go, I go.” My palm covered the top of my head. “Fuck, do you think I would want to miss seeing your art in that store? That was important. Huge, baby. I’m so proud of you.”
Her lip curled, and her nose wrinkled. “You would have missed it ten days ago. You have no idea what I did or where I went during your absence. You left, Murray. You left me! You don’t get to act like the white knight now. It’s too late.”
“Stop calling me Murray.”
She crossed her arms and jerked her chin in amake meway. “I’ll call you what I want. I always have.”
“I don’t want you to want that. I messed up. I messed up so bad, and the only thing I know how to do is explain myself to you. I love you, Yael. I love you, and I freaked out. Ifreakedout.”
Her chin lowered. “What do you mean?”
“I told you I loved you and you didn’t say it back. I get that it was too soon, too sudden, but that scared me more than I even admitted to myself. I’ve been loving you all on my own for so long, I knew where that road led, and I was fucking terrified to go down it again.”
“That’s no excuse.” Her eyes welled with tears and not being able to go to her killed me. It turned me inside out to know I was the one who put those tears there in the first place.
“No, it isn’t, but it’s the truth. When my dad fell, I pulled away from you because it was easier than the fear of not being loved by you. I didn’t know what I was doing, but I’ve had time to reflect on how in the hell I could have possibly walked away from the woman I will love until my dying breath. That’s my only answer. I got scared.”
“I’m not scary.” Her arms slipped to her stomach.
“To me, you are. You are everything I want, and I don’t know if I’ll ever really have you.”
“You did, though. You had me. I didn’t take what we were doing lightly. I took a chance on you, even though I knew Moses wouldn’t be happy. We worked so hard to get to a place where we could be together, and then you vanished. I felt—” Her words broke off, and she turned away, chewing on her bottom lip.
“What did you feel, boo? You can say anything to me.”
“I felt like you were with me because of nostalgia. You wanted me because of some old feelings you once had. And when you had the chance to leave, you did.” She turned back to face me. “I haven’t let many people in. Not the way I’ve always let you in. Even when I hated you, you knew more about me than anyone else, even Moses.”
“I know, Yael.” I touched my hand to my crumbled heart. “I treasure that. I treasure every single facet of you.”
Her gaze landed directly on mine. “I didn’t feel treasured by you. I felt discarded. What if I let you come back and don’t tell you I love you in a timely manner? Will you get scared and leave again?”
I shook my head. “No, because I know.”
“What do you know?”
“I know you love me too. You don’t have to say it or tell me I’m right, I know it.”