I nodded. “So, you called one of your parade. That’s fine.”
“None of this is fine, Yael. Rachel called me to get her key back to the garden. That was her picking it up, nothing more.”
That was probably true, but it didn’t matter. Not after ten days of complete silence. Not after telling me my existence in his life was too much to handle. Not after walking away from me so easily, he hadn’t even looked back.
“Go away, Murray.”
He reared back like I’d slapped him. “Don’t call me that. You never call me that.”
“I do now.” Shrugging, I walked to the dining room table which also served as my desk and picked up a stack of papers, tapping them even on the table. “Everyone else does.”
“You’re not everyone else.”
“Apparently I am. All of us got the exact same treatment from you.” I set my papers down. “You should go. I’m quite ready to have a nice sob in my pajamas.”
“No, Boo.” He got in my face again. “You’re bruising. What did she do to you?”
I slapped my palms on my wounded face. “Do you see this?Thisis what I feel like on the inside.Youdid that. You asked me to trust you. You told me you loved me. And then, boom! Poof! You fled. I do not trust you anymore and I don’t want your love or anything else from you. Please leave, Murray, and don’t come back. I might have a good scream along with my nice sob, but I won’t be requiring a rescue. Go.”
He braced his hands on the back of my dining room chair, his breathing slow and even. “I’ll go now, but I’m not leaving. You are my Boo. If I have to work another decade to get you to see that, I will.”
With those words, he walked out. The crazy thing was, I finally feltlesscrazy than I had before our confrontation. I knew this was a brief reprieve due to getting some anger off my chest, but I’d take it for now.
Unrequited returned to the studio the next day to record their album. Alex knocked on my door in the morning and spoke to me like he was certain he had my ear. He told me he’d made me breakfast and left it for me. He said he’d be back late, but he’d have his phone if I needed him. I waited a good five minutes to make sure he was gone before grabbing the plate from the hall. He’d made me French toast and bacon along with cut-up fruit. If I hadn’t been so hungry and had more food in my fridge, I would have thrown it at his door. Instead, I ate it all and decided I’d be keeping his plate out of spite.
Both the French toast and spite were delicious.
I spent my day working for Moses and finishing my wire flowers for the jewelry store in Las Vegas. I wasn’t happy. In fact, I was miserable. But I was functional and able to be creative, which stopped me from wanting to curl up and die.
The second day, Alex left me oatmeal topped with brown sugar and bananas and an iced coffee exactly how I liked it. He said the band had had a good day back, though everyone was still pissed at him. He and Jimmy had worked through their differences, but according to Alex, he still wanted to poke Jimmy’s eyes out.
June, Simone, and I met in a nearby park, swinging on the swings until we got dizzy. She had been by the studio and reported that everyone seemed more subdued than before. Simone squealed and blew spit bubbles from her baby swing. Day two was a good day.
Day three, he made me an omelet and rye toast. He said he missed me like he’d miss his lungs. Air still entered his body, but it had nowhere to go. That was what he felt like without me. To that, I extended my middle finger. He’d done this. He’d sacrificed his easy breathing.
On the morning of day four, I boarded a plane to Las Vegas with my precious cargo as my carry-on. If Alex Murray wanted to continue to grovel, he’d be doing it without an audience.