She nodded. “Exactly. None of it’s easy, but you have to convince yourself—if it’s what you want—the risk is worth it. Howisliving together?”
I took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. “Mo is...he’s everything. So damn sweet, easy to be around, funny. But we’re hardly ever alone. Someone is always hanging around, and most nights, he’s got a small party going. He normally drinks a few beers, and while he’s not getting trashed, he’s buzzed.”
Both Tali and Jenna winced. I could almost hear the “yeesh” in their thoughts.
“I’m assuming you aren’t a fan of this behavior?” Jenna asked.
“Not particularly. I don’t mind a couple friends coming by for a while, but I want to be withhim.”
I moved in with Mo last Saturday. We had one night where it was just us. We watched Netflix, ordered pizza, and had sex all over our apartment. It had been perfect. But that was the last night we’d really been alone. Since then, if Yael wasn’t over, Murray was. While I didn’t mind that so much, sometimes Mama wanted to walk around without pants, especially with this big belly. And at night, I didn’t always want to stay up late, watching people who were at least a decade younger than me drink and fawn over my...man.
“Have you told him that?” Tali asked.
“No. It makes me feel old even thinking it.” I covered my face and groaned. My friends had to be frustrated with me, given how much I frustrated myself. “I have to get my shit together in the very near future.”
Our food was brought to the table, offering me a reprieve. Who didn’t feel better with a plateful of french toast? I dug in, stuffing myself with decadent carbohydrates.
“You’re not old, Michaela. You’re pregnant and in a new relationship, both being very valid reasons to want to keep things low-key at home. I didn’t even let Gabriel drink around me when I was pregnant with Marisol and Joaquin. The smell of beer made me gag. So guess what he did when he wanted a drink? He went to a buddy’s place. And guess what that did to his desire to drink? It went way down, because he wanted to be with me in our home more than he wanted to drink. I swear, I wasn’t trying to manipulate the situation, but being honest and setting boundaries worked for us. It’s some grownup shit, but it’s what you have to do, babe.”
Tali patted her lips with her napkin. “Ah, the joy of being married to a former addict. We never had to deal with any of this when we got back together. Jude obviously doesn’t drink, and these days, if I want to drink, it’s when I go out with friends.” She lifted her mimosa. “Cheers, ladies.”
I clinked my coffee cup to hers. “So, what you’re saying is...communicate my feelings?”
Jenna snorted. “Why do you sound like you’re speaking a foreign language?”
“Because I am terrible at adulting and need every bit of help I can get.”
Tali set her glass down. “There’s no set course to adulthood. Yes, communicating with your partner is pretty vital, but I feel like if you want to institute pantless Sundays, do that. If you don't want to wake up until ten or want to vacuum at midnight, have at it. Doing those things doesn’t make you less of an adult. In fact, embracing who you really are, even if it’s against the norm, is themostadult you can be. Don’t do the thing you’re supposed to do. Do the thing that works for you. You don’t have to be with the father of your child just because it’s expected.”
“I want to be with him.”
Jenna’s laugh was loud and full, drawing a few eyes her way—not that she would notice. “That was fast.”
I lifted a forkful of french toast. “I know what I know.”
Tali placed her hand over mine, fingernails painted a shiny black. “Then tell him about pantless Sundays, girl.”
It was more like pantless Sunday through Saturday, but they already knew more about me than they needed to know.
I patted my mouth with my napkin. “Now that we’ve solved my relationship problems, can we discuss the fact that I’m unemployed for the first time in a decade?”
Tali’s elegant face pinched. “I wondered about that.”
“Yep. I haven’t accepted any upcoming jobs. My big ol’ pregnant ass is staying right here in NYC, living off my sugar daddy.”
Jenna snorted a pretty little laugh. “I’m sure Mo would love to know he’s being called that.”
“Oh, he knows. I told him I’m now a kept woman and I expected to maintain the lifestyle I’ve become accustomed to. Too bad the lifestyle I’ve become accustomed to is gingersnaps, Netflix on the couch, and all the takeout I can consume. I should have been living more lavishly so I could demand diamonds and Birkins.”
Tali rolled her eyes. “And you’re entirely without savings?”
“Oh, entirely. I’m flat broke. Netflix is $14.99 a month now. It drains me dry.”
They both laughed. In truth, I wasn’t hurting for money at all. Devon had given me a large divorce settlement, which I’d had no trouble accepting because his ass needed to pay through the nose for what he’d put me through. Plus, I lived way below my means and saved most of my paychecks. It didn’t hurt that Ansel had charged me rent once, the first month I moved in, then “forgot” every month since then. Taking time off work wasn’t going to hurt me financially, but I didn’t think I was the stay-at-home mom type.
“Will you keep touring?” Jenna asked.
“I don’t know. How do you do it, Tals?”