Adelaide
As soon as I came out of the bathroom,Adam was on me. He didn’t push me to talk. That would have been easier. I could have gotten a grasp on my anger and wielded it as a weapon. But no, he had to go and be considerate, asking me if I wanted a drink. When I didn’t, he ensured no photographers were lurking outside before ushering me into the waiting car.
In the dark back seat, he gave me space, but not a ton of it. His wide palm rested on my thigh, fingers curling around it like he had a claim on me.
“We should have used a condom.” That was how I broke the silence.
He exhaled, turning his head to look me over. “I’ve never gone without one. I need you to know that. I’m clean and—”
“I am too, it’s just that…you know, it was reckless.”
His chuckle was dry and raspy. “I was feeling a little reckless back there, but I’d never play fast and loose with your safety.”
“I’ll have to take Plan B.”
His hand clenched my leg tighter. “You’re not on the pill?”
“No. I’ll run to the drugstore when I get home. It’s not a big deal.”
He was silent for a moment, shoving his hand through his hair roughly. “You don’t have to take it.”
I snorted. “I’ll take Plan B.”
“I’m just saying, a baby of ours would be really fucking cute.”
This man really knew how to get under my skin. He said these things that were beautiful, but there was nothing to back them up. They were ideas he released into the breeze, not imagining they might land on someone—land on me.
“I can barely look at you. I’m not having your baby.”
His exhale was heavier, thready. “Yeah.”
A minute later, he leaned forward and asked the driver to pull over. Then he was out of the car before I knew it. I peered out the window, watching him run into a chain drugstore. I picked at my nails while we waited, wondering when I’d lost my ever-loving mind. Tonight had been a big mistake. I’d never had control of the situation. When it came to Adam, my feelings were out of my hands and in his.
Adam climbed into the car with a bag that was way too full to contain just a box of pills. He placed it in my lap and pulled out the contents. He’d bought me gummy worms, Sprite, a bottle of water, a few different chocolate bars, and fuzzy pink socks.
I held up the socks. “Did you buy out the store?”
“You don’t have enough pink stuff anymore.”
I wrinkled my nose to stop myself from crying. Hadn’t I cried enough over this man? If he was sweet to me, I’d have to punch him in the nose. It was the only option.
He took my hand in his, pulling it onto his lap. “I’m so fucking sorry, Adelaide. You know that, right? I don’t know why I said those things, and I get why you’d never want to see my face again. That’s not going to happen, though. I refuse to accept that as the outcome between you and me.”
“I’m not sorry you said it. It was part of the push I needed to take control. Iwasroadkill. You splattered me. My dad splattered me. I kept letting it happen. I’m not going back. I won’t be that girl anymore.”
His hold on me tightened. “How did I splatter you? I mean, besides the fucking obvious.”
“It doesn’t matter. The point is I’m different now. I want different things. I can’t—I can’t go back to playing our game. That’s not what I want.”
“What do you want? I need you to be clear.”
I ripped my hand from his, but he took it right back, pressing it to his thigh with both of his.
“Stop it, Adam. I don’t want to do this. Tonight was a mistake.”
His nostrils flared as he tipped his head, his eyes boring into mine. “Nothing about tonight was a mistake. None of it.”
Thankfully, we were in front of my building and I didn’t have to dodge any more questions I really didn’t want to answer. I scrambled to get out, clutching my bag of goodies and drugs, and Adam followed. He gripped my nape the entire four flights of steps to my door, then only let go to pin me against it, his long body covering mine.