Ezra filled the space with stories about preschool then he wanted to hear a Bob Seger song. His resounding opinion was that Bob Marley was his second favorite Bob to Bob Ross. Bob Seger was a distant third.
Jenny came down after breakfast and wrangled Ezra upstairs to get dressed and give us some privacy. She didn’t know what was going on, but she knew something was up. I probably hadn’t been in top form the day before.
I wouldn’t tell her because she wouldn’t understand. Not that I did, but shereallywouldn’t.
“You need to go home, Callum,” I whispered.
Because he was Callum Rose, he didn’t do what I asked. He took me in his arms instead, and I wrapped mine around his waist.
“I liked bein’ here this morning, lettin’ you sleep while me and Ez cooked. Not something I could have predicted I’d like.”
I nodded against his chest. “I know you liked it. But you still need to go.”
“After you had him, you used to go on long walks with the stroller. Sometimes you’d sit down on a bench and cry your heart out.” I went stiff. I remembered those walks all too well. “I got close to talkin’ to you then, but you’re Wren. So fuckin’ strong. You’d pull yourself together, get up, and keep movin’.”
I banged my forehead against him. “I wish you’d spoken to me. Maybe not in the middle of my crying jags, but before or after.”
He took my chin in his hand and tipped my head back. “I love you, Wren, but you have to know you left me out in the cold.Youabandoned me. You can be angry or freaked out that I watched you for so long, but I do not accept you being angry at me not speakin’ to you when you made it clear with your silence you were done with me.”
My mouth fell open to refute him, but he cut me off.
“Knowin’ what I know now, of course I wish I’d approached you. I look back on the last three years and see the time I wasted. I can’t get it back, but I’m not gonna waste the time we have now. So, when you tell me to leave, give you space, I’m buckin’ against that with all I have. I’ve given you space, and I’m done with that. I’m done with it, Wren. I will come clean on every detail of my obsession with you. You ask me anything, I’ll tell you, though you pretty much know it all. What I won’t do is give you up. I will not allow you to be mad at me for keepin’ my distance when I did it because I thought that was what you wanted. We were apart for the last week, and I hated every second of it. That’s enough of that.”
He patted his chest, right where the tattoo was. “You’re on my skin, under it, in my bloodstream. This is it, Little Bird. I’m here now. The last three years are done and gone, and we can’t retrace our steps. We can only move forward, and there is no way in hell I’m movin’ forward without you. Iloveyou.”
I swallowed down the feeling of my heart trying to escape from my throat. “I need to think. I can’t think when you’re here. You’re just...in my face. You’re saying all the right things, but I don’t know if they’re right because they make me feel good to hear or if they’re actually right.”
He cupped my cheeks, dipped, and brushed his lips over mine. I whimpered, and he went in again, kissing me longer, deeper, but not hard. Still gentle, so gentle.
Then he stepped back, leaving me staggered all over again.
“All right, Wren. You can have today. I won’t be in your face, but I’ll be in touch. I need you to respond when I text or I’ll be back to make sure you’re okay.” His eyes narrowed on me, like he didn’t quite trust me to follow that request.
“All right. I’ll respond.”
His hands flexed by his sides. He stared at me for a long moment, his chest rising and falling in great heaves. Then, he nodded, turned on his heel, and headed for the door. I followed right behind him, all the way outside to my stoop, the bitter winter air cutting straight through my sweatshirt.
Callum took a step down, then he spun around, yanked me to him, and kissed me hard. His tongue slipped between my lips, tasting every inch of me. I clawed at his chest, desperate for him to stay right here, needing him to disappear so I could function.
His shirt was bunched in my fingers. One of his hands slid under my sweatshirt to my breast, the other cupped my throat. Our mouths were fused so tight, his air became mine. Mine became his. I loved him, completely and irrevocably. Only the smallest fraction of me wanted him to leave, but I had to listen to that fraction.
But his mouth, his kiss, I’d never been kissed this way. That was because he loved me, was obsessed with me, couldn’t get enough of me. I was the same when it came down to it.
The sound of a truck rumbling by broke us apart. Callum took me by the shoulders and gently pushed me toward my open front door. I turned right back around in the doorway. He gave me another long look, his brow crinkled and mouth curving down in displeasure.
And then, he was gone, leaving me reeling.
That night, I laid in bed alone. I hadn’t done much thinking, but I was calm. My anger had ebbed. Now, I was just confused and tired.
Callum had texted me three times during the day, just checking in. My replies were succinct. That was it, and it felt colder than his silence.
He could be silent with everyone else. The world could think of him as stone cold. But with me, he was always warm and open.
My phone chimed, signaling I had an email. I sucked in a breath when I saw it was from Callum. I hadn’t checked my old email address in three and a half years, since I last wrote to him. He’d sent this one to my current address.
I opened it, my heart firmly lodged in my throat.
Little Bird,