Because I’d have to kill Adam—and finding a new lead guitarist would be a pain I didn’t feel like enduring.
“I’m sorry, June,” Adam crooned into the phone. “Iris says we can’t be together. I guess I’ll just have to settle for your cookies.”
“Oh no,” she said softly. “I’ll return that wedding dress I just bought.”
With a laugh, I shifted to my side so I could kick his legs and side until he jumped up from the couch and ran toward the kitchen.
“Party tonight,” he called. “Tell June she’s invited, cookies or not.”
“Did you hear that?” I asked.
“Mmhmm. Tell Adam thanks for the invitation.”
“But you’re not coming?” I filled in.
“No. Not this time.”
“I didn’t think so.” June wasn’t much of a partier, and crowds of people she didn’t know made her nervous unless she was at a concert, then she was in her element. “You’ll have to come to my place this weekend after I move back in. I’ll cook you dinner.”
She hesitated. “Do you think it’s safe for you to go back?”
“Yes. Didn’t I mention the state-of-the-art alarm system? Also, my bodyguard won’t let anyone breathe on me, much less harm me. Don’t worry about me, honey bunny. I’ve got it all under control.”
We said our goodbyes—June pretending to believe I was in control, me pretending to believe she believed me—and I threw my phone down on the rug. Eventually, I was going to have to tell Ronan about the calendar, but it wasn’t eventually yet. He could remain in the dark until I was ready to talk to him again.
I climbed on top of Adam’s coffee table with a beer in my hand like a microphone. “Attention, everyone! Attention.” My beer-mic was a piece of shit. It didn’t even project my voice. Only a few people crowded into Adam’s living room bothered paying attention to me. Jerks. I tipped my bottle into my mouth and swallowed half the contents.
Roddy held his hands out to me. “Come on, baby. Time to get down and be a good girl.”
I swatted at him. “No, sir. I have things to say.”
Adam stumbled into his side, giving me a sloppy grin. “I don’t know, man. She looks like she’s got something to say.”
“I just said that, asshole.” I tried to kick him and nearly lost my balance. The coffee table suddenly seemed higher than I remembered. “You’ve got to get this thing fixed. It’s moving.”
Roddy shook his head. “I’m too baked for this. Where’s Hope? She’ll chaperone you fools.”
I patted his soft, black hair. “Hope’s so nice. Why aren’t more people nice?”
One of Adam’s douchelord friends smiled up at me, then trailed his glazed eyes down my body, pausing at the hem of my skirt. I tugged it down with sloppy hands, realizing it had ridden up to a scandalous level.
“I can be nice. Real nice,” he slurred.
“Oh, me too.” I snarled at him. “You know what I like? Pegging boys. I have this gorgeous dildo named Cynthia. She’s pink, ten inches, thick as my wrist.” Raising my arms over my head, I shoved my fingers in my hair. I poured a little beer on my head too, but it felt kind of refreshing so I kept going, giving my hips a sultry sway. “I’ll gorealslow. I’ve been told I’m a gentle lover. Cynthia’s a little bit of a bitch, but—”
Adam cracked up laughing, interrupting my sexy monologue. “He’s gone, boo. Ran away so fast.”
I stuck out my bottom lip. “Did he at least hear about Cynthia?”
Roddy snickered. “The second you mentioned pegging, he was outta here. You didn’t even notice.”
“God.” I tugged at my hair and poured a little more beer into it and down my front. “Why aren’t more guys open-minded? They want to stick it in our asses, but heaven forbid I take out Cynthia.” I thrust my hips in Adam’s face. “I look hot with my pink dick.”
“I’m sorry, dude. You always look hot, but the only dick I’m into is mine.” Adam blew a raspberry on my stomach to distract me from him wrapping his arms around me to bring me down from the coffee table. “Roddy says you gotta get down, and you’re ruining my furniture.”
I squirmed in his hold, and since both of us were fucked up, he went stumbling backward. He barely missed the couch, bouncing off the edge with me in his arms, sending us sprawling to the ground. My forehead hit his, and my beer bottle went flying. I’d probably be in a shitload of pain in the morning, but it was funny as hell right now.
“Adam,” I whined, poking his chest. “You’re not very soft. Why’d you drag me down here?”