And so, I told him everything. I told him about my concerns and my worries and all the plans that Grayson had for us that I wanted no part of.
“So what will you do?”
“I need time to think.” I sighed. “Time away from this place. I need to decide what I need for once. I have sacrificed so much already, I can’t sacrifice more.”
“So what do you need from me?”
I pulled out the letter I had written to Grayson.
“Give him this and tell him that I needed to do this. I hope he can forgive me.”
Ethan nodded and took the paper.
With that, I picked up the duffle bag and headed for the bus station, leaving everything I had ever known behind, including the love of my life.
4 months later
I rubbed my growing bump, as I walked through the store. It had been four months since I had left Riverroad and four months since I had spoken to or seen Grayson. I missed him like crazy, but I needed to do this. I needed the separation to clear my head.
Now my head was clear. It might have taken me four months, but I finally knew what I wanted.
Four months ago, I had made the trip to Forks where one of my great aunts lived. She had welcomed me with open arms and told me I could stay for as long as I needed to. I took the time to think over what I needed to do.
A week after arriving, I made my way to the hospital, wanting to go through with the procedure but, when I heard her heartbeat, I knew then and there that I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t lose my baby girl. So I stuck it through.
I would have returned home that day, but I still had a lot of stuff I needed to tackle. Like what kind of life I wanted for me and my baby. Did that life include Riverroad? These were the questions I spent months pondering over, and I had finally reached my conclusions.
I felt Mia kick in my stomach. I smiled, loving how every day she got a little stronger inside of me. I could tell she would be an athlete just like her dad.
Grayson. How I missed him. There had been many times I had been tempted to call him. But I knew I couldn’t. I knew I needed to be 100% sure before I returned to Riverroad, and now I was.
I was going back home. When I said home, I wasn’t talking about Riverroad; I was talking about Grayson. He was my home. It didn’t matter if we were in the city or a ratty-tatty small town. Wherever he was, that was my home, and I had been away from home far too long.
I had kept in contact with Ethan, giving him updates ever so often. When I told him I was coming home, he was over-the-moon happy. I was happy, too. I was going to create the kind of life that I wanted.
I was walking to the till when I felt a sharp pain in my abdomen. I doubled over.
“Miss, are you okay?” a distant voice asked, but I couldn’t respond because my eyes were focused on the blood that was dripping down my leg.
“No,” I choked out, doubling over in pain.
“Someone call 911.”
My vision started fading in and out and my heart felt like it was about to give out. What was happening?
I felt myself drop to my knees before someone caught me. When I looked up, I saw a face coming in and out of focus.
“Stay with me,” they said.
I clutched the person's shirt. “Save her, please.”
And then my vision went black.
When I woke up, Mia was gone, and I was left feeling empty. The doctors had told me that it was unlikely that I would ever get pregnant naturally again. I knew I couldn’t return to Riverroad after all of that, so I never did.
I blamed myself for what had happened. I had rejected her in the beginning. Hell, I had wanted to remove her in the beginning. And I had gotten exactly that. She had been ripped from me. I never deserved her.
I was never even given the chance to see or hold her, but I did get a chance to name her. I chose Mia because it was the name Grayson and I had said we would call our first daughter.