Chapter 22 - Jade: Decisions
Four Years Ago
Gray was still as stone. He stared at the pregnancy tests I had handed him.
“Gray, you are scaring me here.” I laughed nervously. “Say something.”
His eyes moved from the pregnancy sticks to me.
“Are you sure?”
“I took like nine of them, Gray. I am sure. I am very pregnant, I just don’t know how far along I am.”
“Wow.” He leaned back onto the headboard of my bed.
Wow was right. I was still in high school. My mom was an addict, my brother was going off to med school and could not help me with our mother, and now I found out I’m pregnant? This was all too much.
I had a plan. Graduate early and move to Florida with Grayson. Attend FIU and get my prelate, then go onto law school. We would get a cute little apartment where we would get a dog and maybe a bird. We would find stable jobs after school and create a life for ourselves. I had it all planned out. A baby was not a part of the plan.
For so long, I had lived my life for others. I wanted to finally start living for myself. A baby ruined those plans. I never thought I would be one to consider it, but I really was considering abortion. I couldn’t have a baby right now.
“It’s fine. We can make this work.” Grayson’s voice pierced through my mind. “I’m almost done. You can get your degree online, and we can stay here for now so that we are close to my mom. She will be able to help out with the baby while I work at my dad’s shop.”
Wait for what?
“We can also get married before the baby is born. This way we can just get it out of the way.”
Get it out of the way? Was this his way of proposing to me?
“Woah, Grayson, hold up. We aren’t getting married, and I’m not doing classes online.”
He looked at me like I had lost my mind. “You can’t do full time while pregnant, Jade. You need to think about the baby and the amount of stress you would put on it. It’s not fair.”
Was he being for real? Surely, he was messing with me. Had he really just decided my future for me? I wasn’t ready to be a mom.
I opened my mouth to speak, but Grayson cut me off.
“Baby, I know you are scared but don’t worry. I will take care of us. You won’t have to worry about a thing.”
“What about my degree? What about law? What about my dream?"
“We are having a baby now, Jade. Our lives are going to have to shift a bit and, to be honest, I think things work out better this way. I never wanted to move to the big city anyway. All that hustle and bustle, I prefer the quiet of Riverroad. We grew up here. This is our home, and we belong here.”
I suddenly started feeling restricted, like the walls were closing in on me. My breathing started picking up, and my chest felt like it was going to cave in on itself.
Grayson gathered me in his arms and placed a gentle kiss on my temple.
“It’s going to be okay, baby. Don’t worry about anything. I have got us, and everything will be alright.”
After a few more minutes of just Grayson speaking about a future only he wanted, he left to go and speak with his mother.
When he left, I found myself wandering around my house and doing chores to keep my mind busy. I knew he meant well, but it was all too much. I had my own plans. My own life that I wanted to create away from this place. Now, he was telling me to stay.
I felt like I was suffocating, and there was no way for me to surface to get some air. This place was boxing me in, and there was only one thing I could think of that would make it all stop spinning. I knew what I needed to do but the only question was—was I strong enough to do it?
After two hours, I packed, and my bag was on the floor at the bottom of the stairs. I heard the front door open, and I knew that it was Ethan.
“Hey.” He smiled but, when he saw my face, the smile slipped from his. “What happened?”