He stalked into the living room. “I’m not going back to the house without you. I promised my mom I would bring you back.”
“Your mom doesn’t care about me, Grayson, not after everything that has happened. I saw the way she looked at me at the funeral. She hates me, and she has every right to. I hurt her son. I will do everyone a favor and just leave. So just go back home, Grayson. It will be better for everyone this way.”
“Better for who exactly?” He stepped around the couch and made his way towards me. “I get it. Ethan lashed out at you. But it has nothing to do with you, Jade. It has everything to do with your mom. When he calms down and comes to his senses in the morning, he will feel like shit forever for saying those things to you.”
“It doesn’t matter because all the things he said to me were true. I did abandon him. I left him to deal with my mom all on his own. He was able to do what I couldn’t and help her to sobriety. And when my mother came to visit me, I was so blinded by the past trauma, I lashed out at her and made her feel like absolute trash.Ethan was right. I killed our mother. If I had just sat and listened to what she had to say, maybe things would have been different. Maybe she would be alive right now and maybe I would have been able to return to Riverroad sooner.”
“How do you know that for sure, Jade? Your mother was clinically depressed. Who’s to say something else wouldn’t have set her off? Your mother’s choices and actions weren’t your responsibility.”
“But my actions forced hers. I should have done better as a daughter. If someone would have just told me she was sick, I would have come back. I know I would have.” I was sobbing again by this point. “I would have dropped everything and been with her. If they had just told me she was clean, I would have come back. But I didn’t. I stayed away from everything that reminded me of this place and that included my mother. I was selfish.”
He stepped into my bubble. “Jade, I need you to calm down. You are getting yourself worked up.”
“No!” I pushed against his chest. “It’s all my fault. Everything is my fault. I messed it all up! I hurt so many people. I hurt too many people. I was selfish and cold, and I deserve every ounce of pain I’m feeling.”
He tried to pull me in, but I pushed against his chest again.
“Don’t touch me!” I screamed. I couldn’t take this anymore. “Stop pretending to care, Grayson. Stop pretending you want to actually help me. You should be happy. I’m suffering just like you wanted.”
He tried to reach for me again, but I pushed him back. I didn’t know what had come over me. It was like I had flipped a switch and something in my brain had me spiraling.
“Leave, Grayson!” I struggled against him but the strength was draining from my body. He stood firm and drew me in with his arms.
I beat against his chest, trying to fight him, but my blows became weaker and weaker as the pain got louder and louder. I allowed him to pull me flush against his chest.
I lost it. I racked against him as he allowed me to cry. I don’t know how long we stood like this, but by the time I had pulled away, the rain had dwindled and was now a gentle downpour.
I wiped away the few remaining tears from my eyes. He still had his arms wound around me and, to be honest, I didn’t want to get out of his hold.
His scent surrounded me, and it had my stomach doing summersaults. He still smelled the same way I remembered him. He still felt the way I remembered. His arms felt familiar like they were my home. Being in them felt like coming home.
I wanted to stay like this forever, but I knew that the little bubble I was in would pop soon enough.
I felt his hand slowly move up and down my back, gently brushing his fingertips across the fabric of my dress. My breath hitched at the contact, but I didn’t make any sudden movements. I didn’t want him to stop.
I placed the palm of my hands on his chest and felt the hammering of his heart. Touching him like this felt so right, like this was something I was meant to be doing.
He nuzzled his nose into my hair, and I felt the rise of his chest. He had just smelled my hair. I couldn’t help but smile.
Something stirred inside of me. This need and hunger had lain dormant for a long time. It was a beast that I had found no problems in putting away because no one ever awakened it. Now, it had been poked. I could feel the building heat in my core, and I knew what it was asking for.
I wanted it, even if it were only for today, I wanted it. The question was whether I would be brave enough to ask for it.
“Grayson,” I said with my head lying on his shoulder.
“Hmm?” he said into my hair almost like he was in a daze.
“I need something.”
I felt him begin to pull away, and I thought I had just lost everything, but he only pulled away enough to look down at me.
“What do you need?” His chocolate brown eyes darkened slightly as he stared down at me. He was thinking exactly what I was thinking. I could see the need swimming behind his eyes
“Tell me what you want, Jade.” He drew his face in so close, I could feel his hot breath on my face.
“You. I need you, Grayson.”
“If we do this, Jade, it can never leave this place. What happens here will stay here.”
I was good with that. I just wanted him to calm the growing beast inside of me.
I nodded.
Then his lips came crashing down on mine in one swooping kiss.