Sola bolted to her feet, her hands out. “Nothing happened.”
But it had been about to. Cash couldn’t do anything but stare and hope he hadn’t done the one thing he’d said he wouldn’t.
Annoyance knitted Aarav’s thick brows. “Do you think I can’t see you’re attracted to him? Well, welcome to the fucking club. So am I. I think. Even though we just met. Which is really fucking weird because thatneverhappens to me. Or maybe I’m extra horny after being around you and knowing how I feel and what we did and it’s rubbing off on him.”
To be honest, Cash was fine with any rubbing off these two did on him.
“Although that was probably a waste of a cold shower.” Cash didn’t have to be a super spy to detect the bulge in Aarav’s gray sweatpants. Was the man trying to drive him and Sola mad? “I don’t own you, Sola. Don’t feel obligated to be exclusive with me because we fucked once and my sex drive has some sort of sick and twisted sense of humor.”
“I’m sorry.” She looked at one man then the other from her place between them, and Cash had no idea what she was apologizing for. For her obvious and longstanding desire for her partner, or because she’d been eyeing Cash like a juicy sausage from the moment they’d met?
Either one didn’t feel worth an anguished apology to him.
“I’m ruining everything.” Sola sliced her hands through the air. “I’m afraid of starting something with you if I’m not sure it’s going to be forever given that we work together and knowing that you’re only into me because you have feelings. It’s a big responsibility.”
Oof. Not how a man wanted a woman to feel about a relationship with them. That it was some kind of burden. Cash winced and wondered if he should intervene before they unintentionally upset each other more.
He didn’t, staying out of their business as much as possible for a man locked in with them.
“You’re going to change your mind now?” Aarav scrubbed his hands over his face. “I’m not saying you shouldn’t, if that’s how you feel. Of course you should. It’s just…frustrating, because for months you’ve been giving me the green light and losing patience and now that I’ve gone for it, taken the leap despite how fucking terrifying all this is, you’re pulling back.”
“I’m not rejecting you.” Sola laid her hand on Aarav’s forearm. “I’m confused.”
“Is it because you know that I’ve never been with anyone else or felt this way before you? And now maybe him.” Aarav swallowed hard as if his body had betrayed him.
Wait. What?
Cash nearly toppled out of his chair. Was Aarav saying what he thought?
Not that he’d never been in love before, because certainly he couldn’t have that kind of emotion for someone he’d barely met, but that he’d never experienced attraction, passion…or even sex?
Had Aarav been a virgin before that fateful trip? No wonder these two were so on edge around each other. Cash thought back to the way he’d teased them the night before in the shower and then on the bed between them like a human cock blocker. It had been amusing to him, but for them…it must have been torture.
Oh shit. How could he help? How could he repay some of the risks they’d taken for him and for each other?
“Hey, if it helps, this doesn’t have to be an existential crisis. You two are hot as hell and I’m obviously into you both. We’re adults. So what’s the big fucking deal if we spend some of our time together making each other feel good? Maybe it will lower the stakes some if we simply acknowledge it and get it out of our systems.”
“With anyone else, you’d probably have it right.” Aarav groaned. “You don’t get it.Getting it out of my systemisn’t a thing for me. I’ve never gotten turned on like this before. It’s new and kind of screws with my head.”
“Because I’m a guy?” Cash tipped his head, trying not to take it personally.
“Kind of, but not exactly.” Aarav took a few long deep breaths as if to physically calm himself down. Sola went to him and wrapped him in a hug. He clutched her as tightly as she’d done to Cash when dangling over the ocean. “More because it doesn’t happen with anyone. I’d never even considered it might with a guy. Though after coming to Shields and seeing how content our friends are in their non-traditional relationships, I wouldn’t have objected. It’s new. It’s scary. And there’s a lot at stake if I get it wrong.”
He peered at Sola, then kissed her softly, as if the taste of her lips reassured him.
Cash couldn’t look away. Nor could he deny that he wanted to share in whatever potent thing was blossoming between them.
“Having sex with you must have broken me,” Aarav whispered against Sola’s lips. “Because now that’s all I want. Even if it means sharing you with him.”
“I hate to break it to you…but it sounds to me like she fixed you,” Cash murmured.
“No, there was nothing wrong with him to begin with and there’s not now.” The flecks of gold around Sola’s irises shone as she argued with Cash. “It’s not like I have a magic pussy. Aarav, maybe you’re just more receptive to these feelings when you have some kind of bond with someone. Maybe it’s safer if you think you won’t lose them after what happened to your family and how they were taken from you.”
That made a lot of sense to Cash. He didn’t particularly like the idea of finding people who both understood him and turned him on only to have them ripped away again. “I could see that.”
“There’s obviously something here.” Sola stepped back so she could look at both of them at once. “I don’t want to ignore it and end up regretting it for the rest of my life.”
Cash didn’t dare speak. He waited for Aarav to make up his mind. When the other man nodded slightly, something inside him shifted and he prayed things were about to go down like he imagined they would.