“But, Bishop…?”
“I was never dating his mother. I never liked her. She was a fucking rat.”
“I don’t know what that means.”
“It means something,” he said. “You don’t ever have to worry. Do you want to tell me why you’ve locked yourself in the bathroom, crying? I can’t hold you. I can’t help you.”
“I don’t need any help. I just need a few minutes.”
“Okay.”
He waited.
“You still haven’t left, have you?”
“Sorry, baby girl. I’m not leaving.”
“I don’t know what to do,” she said. “Everyone is so nice and they are all acting like they know me and I don’t have a clue who they are.” She sniffled. “I’m sorry. It’s not worth crying over.”
“It clearly is, otherwise, you wouldn’t be.”
“It’s fine.”
“No, it’s not.” He sighed. “Look, if it makes you feel any better, then it’s all lies.”
“What’s all lies?”
“The way they’re being. The only person you were ever really close to was Bishop.” He wasn’t about to tell her about Milly. There was no reason for her to remember a woman who wanted to destroy her. “You were rarely at the clubhouse, but this is your home. I want you to feel like you’ve got more than Bear and me.”
The door unlocked and she pulled it open. “It’s not just me then?”
“No. They’re my club. They’re doing what I asked them to and that is to help you feel part of us again.”
“I really appreciate it but it’s a little much. I … I thought I didn’t remember them. That I messed up.”
He reached out, taking hold of her hands and pulling her close. “You don’t have the power to mess up.”
“Did they know we were together?” she asked.
“No. You were gone before we had a chance to announce it. Would you like to go out there, let them know who you belong to?”
She shook her head. “No. I think I’d like to go to bed. I feel really tired.”
“Would you like me to join you?”
“Only if you’re not busy? You know, this is your club. Do you have club stuff to do?”
“Nah, nothing is more important to me than you. Come on, I’ll take you upstairs.”
“We’re not going home?”
“This is your home.” He kissed her head. It didn’t matter how many times he told her though, she would always feel like an outsider until she remembered. There were times he didn’t know if he really wanted her to remember. Some of those memories were not ones he wanted her to have. Especially the one where she lost the baby as even now, it plagued him.
Without another word, he led her toward the staircase, taking her up to his room. As they passed Bishop’s room, she paused.
He hadn’t gotten around to giving the order for the room to be cleaned out so all of Bishop’s things were still inside.
“What is it?” he asked.
“I don’t know.” She shook her head. “I guess I just … this room?”
“It’s Bishop’s. Would you like to go inside?” he asked.
“No, not tonight. I’m really tired. I’m sorry. You must think I’m being a huge drama queen.”
“Not at all.” He kissed her head. He didn’t want her to feel worried or fearful. There were moments she would stop and look at something and he had to wonder if her mind was fighting to be free. If the Robin of two years ago was there beneath the surface, just waiting for the right trigger to come out.
Randall said it didn’t always work like that. Robin could remain this way for the rest of her life.
Preacher loved her, but he also knew in his heart, something was missing. They had each shared a pain that only he remembered right now. If given the choice, he knew she would want to know what happened.
For now, he had to constantly wait, accept her for who she was now.
They entered his room and she paused. Her hand left his as she looked into his room.
“I just got a bit of a chill.”
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah, of course. I’m fine. Can I take a shower?”
He wasn’t about to tell her she had one before they left the house. He’d noticed she enjoyed taking long showers of late.
“Sure, go ahead.”
He sat on the edge of his bed, removing his boots as she left to go into the shower. After running fingers through his hair, he shoved his jeans down his thighs and was about to remove his shirt when his cell phone rang.
His cell didn’t recognize the number but seeing as he had a great deal of contacts running around, he accepted the call. “Preacher,” he said.
“So, tell me, Preacher, what’s it like fucking a woman with another man’s name on her back? Have you taken her from behind yet?” Reaper asked.
Preacher gripped his cell phone tighter in his fist, anger and rage mingling together, dancing within him. “You know it’s easier to call someone when it’s safe for you.”