“I can help you with that.”
“I know, but I’m quite capable of doing this,” she said. “Besides, you’re not going to always be available. I don’t need a babysitter. You know, I find that frustrating.”
“What?”
“I know everything. I know what a babysitter means, and the days of the week. I have all this common knowledge but anything relating to personal me, I’m coming up empty. It sucks.”
“Stop trying to force it.” He grabbed the crutches for her and she lifted herself up, taking them from him.
“I never knew you to be so impatient.”
“You didn’t?”
“You had your moments, but you were always such a hard worker. Nothing ever fazed you. You were ready and waiting for anything. Now, you look … scared. I don’t like it.”
“I don’t mean to be scared. I can’t seem to help this feeling twisting in my gut that something bad is going to happen.”
“You’re home. If something bad is going to happen, we’ll deal with it like we deal with everything. Together.”
They left the house and went out to the truck. As she stood there, waiting for Bear to open the door, the hair on the back of her neck seemed to stand on end. The nerves weaving through her stomach went into overdrive.
Looking around, she tried to think of what could be close by, but there was nothing.
No one was watching them. No one was waiting to scare them.
“Are you okay?” Bear asked.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” After sliding into the car, she put her seatbelt on and wished for the nervous feeling to disappear. It was worse because she didn’t know what she was afraid of, and that was even scarier than anything she’d ever faced before.
****
After therapy, exhausted, aching, and hating all things physical, Robin sat in a chair out in the waiting room with everyone. It was organized chaos. Doctors came and went. Patients checked their watches, clearly pissed at sitting around waiting.
People grew anxious.
Kids ran around the chairs, trying to entertain themselves.
She sat off to the sidelines, never participating, just watching. She wasn’t part of it all. Her appointment had come and gone. Bear was supposed to be picking her up, but he was running late.
“It’s all a little busy, isn’t it?” Randall said, taking a seat beside her.
“Hey,” she said. “Be warned, I smell.”
“I talked to your therapist. He believes you’re making excellent progress.”
“That’s good, right?”
“It’s very good.”
“Awesome. It’s what I want to hear.” She smiled at him. For some reason, Randall always made her feel at ease, calm.
“You do know you’ll never be able to run again, and your foot may also have pain.”
“I thought doctors were supposed to install hope. You know, kind of like a computer update.”
He laughed. “I’m afraid I’m a realist. I want to help my patients, but I don’t want to give them unrealistic expectations.”
“I can totally relate to all of that. I think.” She didn’t even know why she said some things she did half of the time.
“How have you been feeling?”
“I’ve been home a day, and everything is good. I’ve been looking through old photos, so I know this is totally not me.” She lifted a strand of hair. “I’m going to change it as soon as I let it grow more. I’ve also lost a lot of weight. Again, I don’t know why.” She thought about the bathroom incident and then the voice. “Can I ask you something?”
“You can ask me anything. I don’t know if I’ll be able to answer, but I will certainly try my best.”
“Memories. Do you know how they will come back?” she asked.
“I honestly don’t know. Each case is different, like I’ve said before. The mind, it works in mysterious ways.”
“I totally get that, but, what if it does it in flashes, or like whispers? Can I trust them? Or should I just wait for the big wake-up?” She hated how vague she sounded.
“Have you remembered anything?”
“I wouldn’t say I’ve remembered anything. It’s more like a … feeling.” She thought about the whispered words. “Yeah, I think that is what it is, a feeling. I mean, I was staring at my reflection and one moment I looked like I do now, and the next second, over the top, it was like I was staring at old me. I know, creepy.”
“You’ve got to take your time. Don’t force anything. I want to warn you, your life here was good, but there were still problems with it. There’s heartache waiting to find you, Robin, and I don’t want you to have to go through it again.”
“I’m sorry,” Preacher said, drawing her attention.
Her heart raced at the sight of him and the pit of her stomach tightened. It wasn’t through fear, either.
“Preacher,” she said, with a smile. “Where’s my dad?”
“He’s doing club business. Thank you, Randall, for keeping her company.”
“Always a pleasure. You take care, Robin, and if there’s anything you want to discuss, come to me.”