It had been two years since he’d been in this position with her. He didn’t want to think about the last time he saw her. Her worries about Bishop as he brushed them aside and still went and did what he wanted to, without a care in the world. He’d been dealing with a lot of guilt over his decision. If he’d stayed, he might have been able to stop all of this from happening.
Running fingers through his hair, he heard the machines. Their persistent beeps, which should have been a comfort, only they pissed him off. Angered him, even. He didn’t want to think about their constant sounds. They at least gave him hope, didn’t they?
From the look of her, he didn’t think it would be possible for her to return to him.
He had to be close to her, so he took another step into the room.
Her face was completely bruised and her foot had a cast on, as well as her wrist. There was also a bandage around her middle, but he didn’t see that, just knew it was there.
“I don’t think you’d be happy with the way you look right now,” he said. He grabbed the seat, lifting it up and placing it close to the bed. Machines were on one side, giving the reading of her heart rate and blood pressure.
“I hate seeing you like this.” He laughed. “I know wherever you are right now, you’re probably annoyed at me stating the obvious. Sorry to do that, you know, state the obvious.” He ran a hand down his face. “I’m so sorry.” He reached out, about to take her hand, but he stopped himself. “I’m not used to talking like this or being with anyone like this. I don’t do feelings. You know this. I’m trying. I want to do what’s best for you, but I … I’m struggling. Damn, Robin. I’ve been looking for you for two years and I know when you wake up, you’re going to have a whole lot to say.”
He stared at her. “I can’t wait to hear your voice. I’ve been thinking about you all the time. Every decision I make, it’s in the hope of finding you. The club’s pissed at me because I’ve made some really shitty deals for information. I guess to some, I’ve been a bad leader but it was all to bring me closer to you or at the very least, to try and find you.” He wanted to hold her. It killed him inside to know he couldn’t take that step to be near to her, to touch her, to hold her. For now, he had to hold back.
Clenching his hands into fists, he sat back in his chair, trying to be calm. Trying to get his shit together and find some source of control, but it wasn’t helping. He finally had Robin, but she was as lost to him as she first was.
****
“It’s her?”
Preacher jolted awake at the question. He turned to see Bear in the doorway of the hospital room.
“Yeah, it’s her.”
He stood up. He couldn’t remember when he’d fallen asleep but he’d been out cold. Running a hand down his face, he tried to clear the sleep from his eyes.
“I came as soon as Grave gave me the message.”
“Was Bishop with you?”
“Nah, I haven’t seen him for a couple of days. I don’t keep track of him.” Bear stepped forward. “What’s going on?”
“The doc says she’s in a coma.”
“When will she wake up?”
“When she’s ready. She walked into an oncoming car. It’s how she got here. I’m going to grab some coffee. You want some?”
“Yes, I want some.” Bear took the seat he’d been sitting in and Preacher left the room. He chanced another look at the woman he loved before pulling himself a way to go and grab some coffee.
The doctors, nurses, and medical staff gave him a wide berth and he really didn’t give a fuck what they were thinking or how worried they were about him. They needed to stay the fuck away from him right now because he really needed to get his shit together in one way or another.
He made his way to the cafeteria, which had already opened for breakfast but it was now lunch. Seeing as Bear would need to have some alone time with Robin, he ordered himself a sandwich and coffee. He sat near the window, eating and not really tasting, looking out at the world and waiting for some kind of feeling to wash over him.
He’d found her.
No, someone else had found her, but she was now back in his care.
Only, he didn’t know what he was dealing with or how to fight it. Seeing her all beaten up and helpless, he couldn’t do anything about it. How had she gotten away? Was Reaper waiting somewhere to take her back? Was this a game? He wouldn’t put it past the son of a bitch to already have a plan in place or wanting to do something else to hurt him.