I saw Mason while I was shopping at the grocery store, apparently Brett and I went to the same gym, Cody was randomly at the same bistro downtown that I liked to go to, and Bram’s accounting firm had a satellite office right across the street from my pilates studio. David’s running routine took him around the same park where I would sit to work on nice days and Christian often brought his dog to the dog park at the park a few blocks away that I tried to flee to in order to avoid David. Worst of all, Luke was being heralded as the Hellraisers’ Player of the Year. His face was plastered on every newspaper and billboard in Austin. I had to get out of town.
Anna tried hard to convince me not to leave. She told me that she would help me get over the guys, and even offered to help me find ‘ten new guys if it would help,’ but nothing she said could quell the way my heart broke when I laid in bed alone at night. I had to put distance between myself and Austin; between myself and these seven groomsmen who destroyed me. So I was headed to California. Despite what I’d told Anna, I hadn’t actually made the decision to stay for good, but if it felt like I could start over, then I would. It didn’t seem like Jordan was going home any time soon. If she needed to, she could take over my lease, get a new nanny job in Austin, and we could both start fresh in new cities.
While I was waiting, I got another message from Anna, begging me not to go to California and reprimanding me for not clearing out my voicemail so that there was space for her to leave another. I texted her back to assure her I didn’t have a full voicemail to avoid her, but she didn’t believe me. What she didn’t know is that my voicemail was full to bursting with voicemails from all of the guys. I hadn’t checked any of them. I knew that I should just go in and delete them, but for some reason, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. It felt like the last of what I had of them, and whenever I thought about clearing them out, I convinced myself that there was some stupid reason I should hold off. I navigated to my voicemail and saw the seven messages from each of the guys and my heart swelled. Each message was a minute or more. They weren’t just saying ‘call me.’
They deserved a listen for that, right?
I clicked on Bram’s first. My studious, clean cut accountant. “Hey… babe? Is babe okay? What does it matter, you probably don’t want to hear anything from me at this point. Look, I know you’re upset and my voice is the last thing that you want to hear but… truth told, I had to hear your voice. I called just to hear you on your voicemail, and now I’m leaving you a message and sound like a creepy stalker. I’m sorry for everything. We never should have made that stupid list, it was just a joke. Did I actually think I was ever going to get to lick chocolate and whipped cream off of your smoking hot body? No. That’s shit that I only dared dream about. Then it finally happened and we’ve gone and fucked it up. You didn’t deserve that, and I would give anything to take it back. If nothing else, please know that I never meant to hurt you. When we talked about wanting to find true love one day, I really thought that could be possible with us. I guess I’ll just put that back in my vault of dreams. Take care of yourself, beautiful girl, I’ll miss you.”
My heart cracked. Bram sounded so sincerely sad that I felt compelled to call him right away and tell him I forgave him, but that scorecard ran through my brain and I remembered. He did one of the things explicitly stated on the scorecard. How could I truly believe he didn’t take the points seriously?
Mason’s was next. “What’s up, old lady?” I couldn’t help but smile. “Look, I’m not much for words. You said so yourself, I have to get better at communicating. You promised that if I was willing to try and improve, that you’d be patient with me, so I’m callin’ in that favor. I’m sorry that you saw that dumb scorecard. It didn’t mean anything. Some stupid points on a piece of paper? You know Luke’s as arrogant as they come. He was supposed to rip it up and instead he filled it out just to fuck with us. You weren’t supposed to see it. Well… we never should have made it. I’m sorry you must feel so shitty, but if you come back, I promise I’ll beat Luke into a fucking pulp and you can watch.”