The loss hits me like a ton of bricks and I collapse onto a chair, stunned. I knew that she was going to be leaving today but I didn’t expect it to be like this. I thought we’d say goodbye first, and that I’d get to savor one last kiss.
But I guess this is it, and a loud, painful sob erupts from my throat. My heart breaks, a shooting pain stabbing me in the center of my chest as all strength departs my limbs. The oxygen seems to have been punched right out of my lungs, and I can’t help but double over in agony as howls erupt from my throat. Why is this happening?
But it’s all too clear why. I’m her step-uncle, and our relationship never should have happened. But now, I’m left with even less. The house is empty, and the stillness feels different this time. It’s as if all life has departed these walls, leaving me with nothing but an empty box in its place. Hadley’s sewing machine is eerily silent, as if it belongs to a ghost, and even the air smells trapped and musty.
I slump into my chair at the kitchen table, looking around with despair. I’ve lived here for almost thirty years, and now I recognize none of it. I let out a laugh of disbelief before putting my head in my hands, blinking hotly against my tears.
How could I be so stupid? How could I let her go like this? Hadley has left Renfrew Acres … and she’s taken my heart with her.
12
HADLEY
I sigh as I make my way to my small hotel room. Hopefully, I’ll have a place of my own soon because while it sounds fancy to live in a hotel, it’s really not. The lobby is bland, the carpeting is a weird grayish-beige, and I’ve gotten sick at looking at the nondescript art on the walls, and flipping through the even more boring magazines.
But things will change because I just applied for a job as a seamstress here in Tepee, Minnesota, and all signs point to yes. After all, my sewing samples are excellent and besides, if things don’t work out, management can just fire me. It’s only a contract position, so there’s no payroll or benefits or anything like that. Now, I just have to hold out for a little longer and pray to hear from the owner tomorrow.
I sigh again, letting myself into the room. It’s got beige wallpaper, a beige coverlet, and a desk in one corner with a TV mounted in the corner. It’s fine because I don’t really care about my surroundings, to be honest. All life has lost its color and it’s as if I’m wandering around in a daze, just trying to make it from one day to the next.
After all, I was lost after I left Frank. I had no idea where to go or what to do next. All I knew was that I couldn’t go back to NYC. While my old life was very bright lights, big city, I’ve moved on. Working for Club Z no longer appeals, but I couldn’t stay at Renfrew Acres either.
As a result, I booked a cab to pick me up from the farm in the early hours of the morn, and took off. It almost killed me to leave Frank, to be honest. I got up as quiet as a mouse, and turned to look at the man sleeping next to me. He was so handsome with his broad shoulders, acres of bronzed skin, and his features in repose. I wanted to crawl back into the safety of his arms, but instead, I made myself get up and grab my stuff. It was only once I was in the cab that I allowed myself to shed a few tears.
But I have to buck up because this is my new life. Small as it is, I have to make do because there are no other options. At least this hotel room comes with a mini hot plate, microwave, and a half-size fridge too, because I’ve been using them. After all, I’m expecting Frank’s baby, and you can’t raise a child on microwave ramen.
It was a shock when I found out, but then again, maybe I shouldn’t be surprised. After all, Frank and I use protection but there were a few times when the moment got away from us, and we went without. It felt amazing to have him come unsheathed in my pussy, and I don’t regret it one bit. Yet, now reality has struck and the truth is that I don’t want to bring a baby into the world while living in a ratty hotel room. I want to be able to provide for him or her the best I can, and to love him in a place where we can both feel secure.