“It doesn’t matter now, does it?” I ask quietly with a soft sigh. “Who he is and what he did in the past, none of it matters now.”
I know I should be curious about my father since I’ve learned about his existence. But strangely enough, I realize that I prefer to maintain the image of the dead man that I’ve had all my life.
Besides the fact that he didn’t want me in the first place, there’s also the fact that he has a family.
Nothing good will come out of stirring still waters or something like that.
Mom sighs.
“Look...I just wanted to let you know that none of those things I ever said to you is true. You’re amazing, Melody...You always have been. You’re beautiful. And smart. Anywhere you go, your light shines so brightly and spreads your joy to those around you. To be honest, I’ve always envied your tenacity. Look how well you turned out despite having a mother like me. You deserve all the happiness in the world and more. And as for that jerk, I hope he rots in jail.”
My heart feels lighter after years of hurt and pain. And while the memories don’t fade they feel lighter, less heavy.
I don’t know how to respond to my mother’s strange yet welcome compliments, so I keep mute, staring down at my clasped fingers on my lap.
“I just needed you to know that I was wrong. So wrong. For a long time, I was bitter and hateful but…I got help. I’m just so sorry it took me so long,” Mom says, clearing her throat awkwardly. “I guess I should go now. But if you ever want to talk…well bye.”
She stands and heads toward the front door without another word.
“Mom?” I call just as she’s about to open the door.
Her hand pauses on the doorknob, and she turns her body slightly toward me.
“Yes?”
I take in a deep breath and clear my throat.
“Thank you,” I say, forcing the words past the emotions that are clogging my throat. “For you know....”
She responds with a little jerky nod and heads out the door.
I hope she understands that I’m not just thanking her for saving me from Jack but also freeing me from the shackles of my past.
Hopefully one day we can completely let go of the past.