“Crazy?” he asked.
“Crazy works.” She drew in a long breath. Luke had trusted her with a huge secret. Would he think she was pathetic if she told him about her abandonment and her fears? She felt like it was time to trust someone besides Cosette, but wow, it was terrifying.
“I’ll give you the out you gave me,” Luke said quietly. “You don’t have to share if it’s too hard.”
“Thank you,” she murmured, “but I want to share with you. I want to trust you and progress our relationship as well.”
He smiled, and his blue eyes were soft. “Thanks.”
Mar took a deep breath and said in barely above a whisper, “When I was a newborn my parents left me on a sidewalk outside the hospital, in the middle of a snowstorm.”
Luke drew in a sharp breath.
“There’s actually video footage of them doing it and it’s in my file,” Mar continued. “I wanted to find out about my biological parents when I turned eighteen, and the case worker let me read what they had.”
Luke held her tighter.
“Luckily, a doctor was exiting his shift and tripped over a snow-covered bundle. He prevented me from freezing to death and turned me over to foster care.” She talked in a monotone, simply forcing the words out. “I have no clue who my biological parents are. I don’t want to. Who leaves a baby to freeze to death as they leave the hospital from giving birth instead of just going through the proper channels to get them adopted?”
She shook it off, or at least pretended to. “Anyway. I was adopted when I was one. I have a few good memories with my adoptive parents; they adopted three of us within a few years. I was six when they were in a horrible car accident. My mom was killed, and my dad was a paraplegic. My dad couldn’t take care of us, so we were all split up and I went back into the foster care system. After that, I was shifted from home to home, never adopted. It wasn’t … awful; it just wasn’t good.” She didn’t want to tell him about some of the moms or dads who were grumpy, short-tempered, or sometimes downright terrifying.
“Oh, Mar.” Luke cradled her and rocked her slightly as if he could make up for all the times that her biological parents should have hugged her.
Mar wrapped her arms around his shoulders and clung to him, letting him hold her, comfort her, be there for her. Sometimes when she was alone, she cried for what she’d lost, for the lack of a childhood, the lack of love, but she hadn’t even cried when she told Cosette that she’d been deserted. Then again, she and Cosette had been thirteen when she’d spilled the story, and neither of them were great at emotional displays.
That was what she should share next. “I found Cosette being bullied by an older girl when we were in middle school. I stood up to the bully, and we’ve been best friends ever since.”
Luke gently kissed her forehead. “I can just imagine you standing up for Cosette. You’re so brave and beautiful.”
Mar had to swallow again. “Thank you. Cosette’s the only person I’ve ever let myself trust or grow close to, the only person who’s ever loved me.”
Luke’s eyes widened. He didn’t say anything, didn’t claim to love her when maybe he didn’t. Mar wished he could love her, because she already knew she loved him, especially when he lifted her off the couch cushion and onto his lap. Her tears dried, and she was spent emotionally, yet she felt complete and cherished in Luke’s arms.
Still, she couldn’t completely silence that nagging feeling that something would happen and he would leave her—because everyone eventually left her.