Chapter Five
Luke frowned at himself as he got dressed for church Sunday morning in his suite at the Four Seasons. The last couple of days had been a whirlwind of activity and fun, orchestrated and directed by Mar. She was a bundle of energy, smart, successful, beautiful, fun, kind … everything he’d ever wanted in a woman. Their kiss last night had shaken him to the core, but obviously it was just another kiss to the spicy, sassy Marietta Valez. She’d flirted with him before and then after pulled away from him and thanked him as if it were all some fun game. He’d thought it was a fun game as well, up until he’d kissed her and his world had spun on its axis. He hadn’t experienced a kiss like that since … Tracey.
Shaking his head, he knotted his tie and hurried to his computer. He wasn’t in the market to settle down with a woman, no matter how impressive or intriguing she might be. No matter that she felt like his missing piece when he’d held her close and shared the kiss to end all kisses. Gah! He was being dramatic and putting far too much stock in something that probably meant nothing. He’d flirted with and kissed dozens of women since Tracey, and all of that had been meaningless fun. Why was he so stirred up by Mar’s kiss?
He had a few minutew before he needed to meet Isaac and Cosette in the lobby, so he settled down and checked the emails that had been cleared by his assistant and approved for him to spend the time reading. There were a few interesting businesses to look at, but one of them stood out. A well-known actress, Selena Sapphire, wanted to sell him her perfume business. It was named after her, which was probably most of the reason for its success. She wanted the liquid cash to boost her retirement and didn’t want to deal with the headaches of the business anymore. He looked at the attached profit and loss statements. It looked good, so he sent off a quick email wondering if she would be willing to meet with him.
Luke stood and looked out over the cluster of downtown buildings as he thought about it. Cosette and Mar could advise him about the ins and outs of the perfume business. He would love to have any reason to discuss business with Mar. From the first time they’d talked at Cosette and Isaac’s wedding, she’d impressed him. She wasn’t just smart; she was levelheaded and saw things clearly. There were a lot of brilliant people out there who either had no solid work ethic, no head for business, or couldn’t see a vision. Mar could do all three, and more. Why did she have to be so perfect for him in every sense? Why had she pulled away from that kiss and then simply chatted as they walked back to her house as if their connection meant nothing, as if she had no clue that he wanted to drop to his knees and propose then and there?
Glancing back at his computer before he walked out, he saw that Selena had replied quickly. She wanted him to come meet with her on Monday, at her summer home in Jackson Hole, Wyoming.
The air whooshed out of Luke’s lungs, and he sat back down. Jackson Hole. He hadn’t been back since he’d walked away shortly after high school graduation. His mom liked the family to get together once a quarter at her and Dad’s different homes, but Luke always managed to miss the Jackson Hole reunion. He’d loved growing up in the beautiful, remote spot. He’d loved the Teton mountains, exploring on mountain bikes, dirt bikes, snowboards, and skis.
There was only one reason he’d never returned. Tracey Littlefield. He’d fancied himself in love with her the spring of their senior year. She was a gorgeous blonde who had quickly captured him. She had a lot of attitude and fire in her. They’d gotten out of control and gone too far the night of prom, and the guilt afterward had about killed him. He’d begged her to forgive him for losing control and told her they couldn’t date any longer. Not that he didn’t want to be with her, but he felt too much guilt for his mistake, for not treating her with respect like his parents had taught him. She’d cussed him up one side and down the other and stormed away.
Luke had worked with his pastor to repent and eventually started feeling as if he’d been forgiven. He’d started making plans for school and starting the businesses he’d always dreamt of. The weekend before graduation, Tracey had found him at a friend’s house and told him that she was pregnant, upending his world again. He’d been in such shock that he hadn’t responded at all that night. He’d stared at her, openmouthed, until she’d again cursed him and stormed away.
Again he’d gone to his pastor, and they’d worked through changing his life plan to focus on marrying Tracey and raising their child together. He was excited to be married to Tracey and to be a father. He could still be a successful entrepreneur and an amazing father.
He’d sought Tracey out the night of their high school graduation, prepared to tell her his plan, propose, and hope she said yes. Before he could get a word out, she’d informed him that she’d miscarried the baby and he didn’t need to worry about the baby any longer; nor would he need to worry about her, as she’d be marrying Mike Birmingham after graduation. He’d been as stunned as he’d been by the pregnancy bombshell. Sick and disoriented, he hadn’t said a word as she’d turned her back on him.
He’d left town a couple of days later and never returned. Was it time to go back and face his past? He hadn’t heard any more about Tracey. It wasn’t like their families ran in the same circles. His parents stayed in Jackson Hole most of the summer, but if they ever saw Tracey, they didn’t say anything to him about it. He’d never told his parents about his mistake, so they had no reason to suspect that he still sometimes reminisced about a girl they’d probably thought he’d only had a high school romance with.
When he thought about Tracey, he sometimes felt a longing for what might have been. It was silly, as he’d only had a few days to wrap his mind around it and he’d been so young, but he’d wanted to be a husband and a father. He’d wanted that baby more than any of the companies he’d started or acquired throughout the years or all the money he’d made. He still worked to push away that ache and that need.
Scrubbing at his beard, he shut the laptop, said a prayer to forget the memories, and hurried from the room to meet Isaac and Cosette before heading to the church to meet Mar. Demons from the past had succeeded in almost making him forget about that dynamic kiss with Mar. Almost.
Jackson Hole. It’d been over nine years now. He still didn’t know that he was strong enough to go back.
* * *
Mar noticed a marked difference between the Luke who’d kissed her last night and the Luke she sat by in church Sunday morning. He’d given her the kiss to end all kisses, and then they’d both pulled away and not discussed it. She’d hoped that maybe today she could feel him out, see if the kiss had meant anything to him or if he’d kissed so many women that a simple kiss couldn’t touch him. Yet there was nothing simple about that kiss.
Church and brunch went well, but Luke was a little distant. Maybe he was stirred up by the kiss, but it seemed like something different was going on. Throughout brunch, he asked her and Cosette multiple questions about their business, complimenting them over and over again on their success and ingenuity.
As they walked out into a chilly San Francisco June day, Mar hid a surge of disappointment. The weekend had been fun, but she had obviously not impressed Luke, or he wouldn’t have written their kiss off and then gotten more distant as today progressed. She kept telling herself it wasn’t a big deal; she was busy and fulfilled and didn’t need what Isaac and Cosette had, though she was thrilled with her friend’s happiness. At the same time … This was Luke Jewel. He was handsome, brilliant, successful, fun, thoughtful, and had kissed her in a way she’d never felt before. There was also the fact that she was decidedly lonely without Cosette around. That must be what it was. Maybe the kiss hadn’t been as incredible as she remembered it. Maybe she was simply tired of being lonely.
They all paused on the sidewalk outside the restaurant, Friends with Benedicts. Mar knew the plan. Isaac, Cosette, and Luke were catching an Uber to pick up their luggage at the hotel and then on to the airport, where Isaac and Cosette would catch a commercial flight back to Florida and Luke would get on his private jet and go back to his home base in Colorado. She’d walk home. It wasn’t far, only a few blocks away. She’d go home and be lonely the rest of this beautiful Sunday. Maybe she’d walk to the Presidio and watch other people have fun with their friends and family.
Mar gave Isaac a quick hug and then clung to Cosette. “Thanks for coming,” she whispered in her friend’s ear. “It meant the world to me.”
“I loved every minute,” Cosette said. She drew back and squeezed her hands. “I’ll see you soon. Love you.”
“Love you,” Mar repeated. She craved those words, and only Cosette had sincerely given them to her. A dozen or more men had tried to profess their love to Mar, but she’d recognized that it was fake and they were only hoping for more action. If a man ever uttered those words with sincerity, she’d be in huge danger of falling and never getting back up. She’d thought those words last night when she was kissing Luke.
Shaking the desire for him away, she turned to Luke, and he extended a hand. A hand? No hug? She wasn’t going to beg for another kiss with Isaac and Cosette looking on, but surely he could give her a hug.
They shook hands, all formal and stupid, and he smiled placidly at her. “Thank you for being our tour guide. It was a great weekend.”
“It was,” she agreed. Was that all she was to him? A tour guide? Okay. She could handle it. So why did it hurt so bad? “Thanks for coming,” she forced out.
He released her hand and stepped back. “Take care,” he said. His voice sounded warm and friendly, but she was horrified to be written off so easily. What had she expected? She knew from all her online research that he’d never even had a girlfriend, never went on more than one date with a woman. Why did she think she was so special? Past experience should’ve drilled into her that she wasn’t special. At all.
“That’s our Uber,” Isaac said, pointing.
Mar held on to her smile as she got one more hug from Cosette and they all disappeared into the black sport utility. She waved until the car turned down the block and disappeared from sight. Blinking quickly, she held the tears at bay as she turned and slunk away. She intended to walk back to her house, but he knew she’d get depressed if she went inside. Even though there was the usual chill in the air, the sun had burned off the fog and she could sit and read in her rooftop garden. No … sitting just wouldn’t work for her right now. She headed the other direction.
Why was she always alone? She sniffled and kept walking down the city streets and through the beautiful Presidio. Just as she’d guessed, there were numerous people enjoying the open green spaces of the park and the beach areas on this Sunday afternoon. She bought herself a mango lemonade and walked around, pretending she was heading to find her friends or family and not miserably alone. Somehow it stung even more after sharing that beautiful kiss with Luke. She knew that no one would ever measure up to him—and not just in kissing ability—and he’d easily walked away from her.