“Please,” I beg as he pulls out and slams back home. He fills me up to the point of almost too much, but I wouldn’t change it at all. His grip on my hips is almost bruising. His thrusts are slow on the out and hard on the in, and my eyes start to roll back. He moves in me over and over. Then he lifts one of his legs up on the side of the tub, changing the angle of his penetration. I moan and cry out, demanding more of him, and he gives it to me. His heat is more than usual. I can feel everything from the veins along his cock to the edge of his head when he pulls it out to the tip.
“I love watching how wet I get you. Seeing you all over my cock. Get there, baby, because I’m going to blow.”
I reach between my legs and rub my clit in circles. I go off as he slams into me a final time. He holds himself tight against me. His cum leaking out of me. And that’s when I realize why he felt so good. Shit.
“Oh fuck, baby, I was so turned on I didn’t realize we missed using a condom.”
“It was only once. We have got to be careful,” I say as he pulls me up and turns me in his arms. His lips come down on mine in a gentle kiss.
“If it ever happened, you know I would make it right. I want you and Mari in my life,” he says, his hands resting against my cheeks. His eyes boring into me. Seeing everything. I let my eyes fall closed knowing that no matter how much I care for him, it could never happen. I couldn’t burden him with my and Mari’s lives. Of the reality of what I did. His hands squeeze me slightly. “I’m serious, Sydney. You and me, baby.” I open my eyes and look up at him. Unable to speak the words, I just nod. “Let’s clean up and get ready to head out.”
Again, I only nod and watch as he cleans himself and pulls his clothes back on. My heart clenches because I don’t know how much longer I can keep the secrets from him. How much longer I can keep my past from ruining my future. He turns to look at me and his lips tip up as he takes me in again.
“I swear, spitfire, if you don’t get dressed right now, I’m going to take you again and we will be in that bed for the rest of the day.” His hand swings toward the bedroom. I smile back because that would be so nice. Just him and me making love all day. “Don’t forget July wants to spend time with you.” He chuckles and walks out of the bathroom.
I finish getting ready. I’m in ripped up jeans, a pair of my Doc Martens with flowers on them, and a black T-shirt. With my leather jacket over my arm, I stroll out to the living room as the doorbell rings. In the last few months since the car incident there hasn’t been anything else. Colton has come back for brief visits with his kids and hasn’t bothered me, so I don’t even think about it when I swing open the door.
I scream as I take in the scene in front of me. The stuffed animal rhinoceros has a Nashville Zoo tag on it and it’s covered in blood, not paint. I know the difference. Tucker is beside me before I can reach for it. He pulls me into his body and cusses. Then Wes and another one of the guys from the club are on my porch too. Tucker buries my head in his chest as the sobs overtake me and my body trembles. I don’t see the stuffed animal in my mind’s eye. I see that final rhino lying on the earth of the savannah he roamed, his eyes closed. His body perfect except for the hacked off horn and bullet hole.
“Call that trooper, Wes,” Tucker says as he picks me up. He carries me a short distance, then sets me down. His hands come to my cheeks. “Spitfire, look at me.” I open my eyes so I can stop seeing it.
“It was horrible. He was lying there dead and I didn’t do anything to stop it. I was too late. It was my job to protect him, and I didn’t. I let them take his pride. I let them steal from him. Slaughter him.” The words rush from my body as I fall back and succumb to unconsciousness.
I wake later, not sure how long it’s been. My mom is standing over me. Tucker is sitting beside me. My house is overrun by people.
“What happened?” I sit up and rub my face, trying to remove the grainy feeling in my eyes.
“Sydney?” My mom’s voice causes me to turn toward her and I see the tears in her eyes. Something happened. But what?
It all starts to come back to me. The rhino with blood. The memories. My hand goes to my mouth as my breath catches. Tucker pulls me close and gathers me into his body. I fight him to get up. I need to get to the door and see if the evidence is there. If the proof that they are back is real.
“Spitfire, calm down, we need to talk.” Tucker’s voice washes over me and I calm. I look up at him, shaking my head. Wanting him to deny it.
“No.” I shake my head hard.
“Yeah, baby, it was real.” He knows what I needed to hear.
I close my eyes as tears roll down my face. I can’t do this anymore with him, but I can’t stop myself from pulling him closer, of wanting more with him.
“Sydney.” Another deep voice breaks through everything going through my mind, and I look up. I recognize him instantly as the memories from my childhood flood me.
“Nico.”
“Hello, girly, we need to discuss these.” He holds up an evidence bag containing an envelope and pictures.
I drop my head to Tucker’s chest and hold him one last time before I turn back around. I squeeze him to me, breathe in his scent of leather, wood, and something earthy. All him. I push it deep into my memory so I’ll never forget him. It’s time.
I pull away from him and fight him when he tries to keep me close. I turn to Nico as I nod at my mom. She is ready to do her job.
Nico hands over the photos protected in the bag to preserve any fingerprints. This has happened to me in the past. While in the hospital, I got images of myself unconscious. Of me when I was released from the hospital and thought I was in hiding. I lock my reactions down knowing that I can’t give away anything. But the images aren’t just of me this time. They are of Mari and Tucker too. The two people who don’t deserve the crazy that follows me. I chose to be a warrior for these animals, my daughter and Tucker didn’t.
“What am I looking at?” My shoulders are pulled back, my head held high. I’m holding the tears back with everything I am. I’ll become the warrior I was trained to be if it kills me.
“Sydney, someone has been following you. Someone has been following all of you.” Nico’s voice is gruff. All his tattoos make most people scared, but not me. He’s really sweet, and I remember how much he loves his nieces and even his own kids.
I move away from everyone to stand in front of the fireplace. I look up at the picture of the bull elephant. They say that elephants have an amazing memory. They remember those from before. They stop at the bones of the dead and move around them. Their trunks touching and feeling as if remembering and feeling the soul. Right at this moment I wish I didn’t have such a good memory. I want to forget it all. I want to keep the life I’ve built here, but I can’t. I turn back around and look at my home as it is now. New pictures are mingled with the old. Tucker has become a part of my and Mari’s lives. In the seven months since we started seeing each other, he’s worked his way into my heart. I look at him as I bite my top lip.
“Sydney, it’s time.” My mom’s voice breaks through my heartache. I look at her and shake my head.