CHAPTER 18
The rental SUV was roomy and comfortable, but nothing like the luxury vehicles Nathanael usually drove. But Shaundra understood that his decision was practical. After spending two days in Serenity Cove acclimatizing to being back in the States, they were on the long drive down to Paradisio Falls, the small town where Nathanael had spent his formative years with his mother.
In the back seat, both Samia and Benjamin dozed. From the moment they arrived, the young nanny had been beside herself with excitement, as it was her first trip to the States, and Shaundra had indulgently taken her on a whirlwind bus tour of the city, including Central Park and the Zoo.
Even though she was seething with resentment at the way Nathanael had bullied her into coming with him, she was also mightily curious as to why he deemed this trip necessary. Throughout their relationship, he had been close-mouthed about his childhood, and after a while she’d stopped asking. She got the feeling that asking too many questions was like poking a sleeping dragon with a stick.
They’d booked out the penthouse suite in one of his hotels, a suite that was reserved for use only for himself, Alex and special guests and contacts. They slept in separate rooms, with Samia and Benjamin sharing the third bedroom, which had been hastily outfitted with a crib and other baby amenities.
Nathanael had maintained a cool distance. While he joined them on their quick spin around the city, he had been content to allow Shaundra to decide on their itinerary. He had been painstakingly polite at mealtimes, as if she was a distant relative he knew he had to be nice to. It was so eerily controlled and choreographed that she wanted to scream.
As they drove through the main shopping area, she looked out the window at the storefronts, trying to get an idea of the town that had shaped the man she’d married. It was a typical small US town, the kind you’d find pretty much anywhere, and yet there were flavors to it that lent it a particular character. Carefully tended potted plants on sidewalk corners, bright awnings over stores. It felt like a pleasant place to grow up.
“That was my elementary school,” he said, pointing at a plain gray stone building.
Shaundra looked at him in surprise. He hadn’t said much on the trip down. She felt she had to say something, or he might lapse back into a silence from which he wouldn’t rouse himself again. “Oh? I can’t imagine you being that young?”
He pondered for a moment. “I was hyperactive, sensitive, and scrawny—”
She looked in disbelief at the strong, tall bulk of a man next to her. Was this man ever scrawny? “Really?”
“Yup. Didn’t get a growth spurt until my late teens, actually. You can imagine how much I was picked on. Plus, my accent was really thick.”
She ventured further, taking his unusually talkative mood as an opportunity to learn the answers to questions he’d never answered. “I didn’t realize you’d migrated here so young.”
“My dad was Belgian American. My mom was from France. My parents lived in France for a bit before my dad eventually convinced my mom that moving to the U.S. would be better for our family. I was five when I moved here. My dad died in a car accident a year after the move.”
“It must have been awful for your mom.”
“It was. She was devastated. The grief riddled her life.”
She couldn’t imagine it. Didn’t want to think of what she’d do if anything happened to Nathanael. She changed the course of the conversation. “Most new arrivals stay on the coasts, or border cities. Why Paradiso Falls?”
He was silent for so long she thought he wouldn’t answer, and then he said, “My dad’s father owned a small biscuit factory on the outskirts of town and my dad’s primary reason for moving to the States was to help his brother ran the business.”
After chewing on her cheek for several minutes, she ventured to say. “We’re not that much different, you and I. At least, our younger selves weren’t.”
He seemed to find that observation funny. “How do you figure that?”
“My mom was madly in love with Denzel’s father. He was her high school sweetheart, and he was killed before Denzel was born. I think my mom has always grieved for her lost love and she tried to find the love she lost with my father and when that didn’t work out, she moved on to the next man who showed her the slightest bit of attention. I watched her crumble. Men were introduced as ‘uncles’ who only hanged around a while. Once she got pregnant they disappeared, and next thing I knew she had another mouth to feed, and I had another baby to take care of while she was off working. I guess I know what heartbreak looks like. And like you, I know how hard it is for a broken mom to care for her own family.”
“Yeah. I guess we have that in common.” He was frowning slightly, as if the glare coming in from the outside of the car hurt his eyes.
She mumbled, barely aware that she was speaking her thoughts out loud, “And now that I know, I’ll be damned if I let that happen to me and Benji. I’m not a perfect mom, but damned if I’m not going to try. I will be mindful, present, and there for him. And to hell with ancestral curses. I willneverlet any man and his bullshit get between parenting my child.”
Beside her, she sensed Nathanael stiffen, his hands gripping the wheel tightly.
Shaundra felt not one iota of remorse. She’d said what she said. If that fell into his garden, tough.