CHAPTER 17
Sometimes, Shaundra felt like a bird in a gilded cage. An ornate, expensive one with every comfort she desired, including her freedom, because the door to the cage was wide open. And yet, somehow, she couldn’t, wouldn’t step outside that boundary.
More than a week ago, Benji’s doctor had given him a clean bill of health, stating in no uncertain terms that the baby was free to fly.
Which meant that on any given day, she could complete the hasty packing she’d begun more than a month before, to get all her stuff boxed and ready to ship, and head back to where she had come from. Back home, where she belonged.
Far away from Nathanael and all the misery he had caused her.
So why was she still here? Why was she dragging her feet? Every day she woke up and told herself,you’ve got the green light.You can go. So what are you waiting for?
It felt as if she was constantly making excuses for herself, throwing obstacles in her own way. First, she’d decided that although they had come here on a private jet, she was damned if she asked him to arrange it for her on the way out. She could ask Naisha to loan her family’s jet, but Nathanael would definitely find out. She decided she was going to go commercial. But didn’t know which airline she’d prefer. She sat in front of her laptop with several tabs open, moving from airline to airline, and yet unable to click on anyBook Nowbutton.
Then Benjamin started getting fussy, shoving his hand into his mouth, drooling heavily and crying for hours. After a momentary spell of panic, she determined that he was simply teething. Maybe she’d wait that out. You wouldn’t want to inflict a transatlantic flight on a teething baby, would you?
Day after day, there were excuses. And night after night, she chastised herself for dragging her feet, and promised herself that tomorrow would be the day when she took that step.
As for Nathanael, she watched silently, and with grudging admiration, as he became more and more competent at handling Benji, even taking him into his arms and going for strolls on the grounds, or meeting up with Alex to talk business with his baby safely strapped into his carrier.
The transformation had been nothing short of a miracle, and she had to struggle against the urge to soften towards him. She wanted a divorce, and she’d told him as such. It was over between them, and the faster they could be done with all this ugliness, the better it would be for her.
Except that Nathanael had said nothing. He hadn’t mentioned the subject once since that night she’d walked out of their room after dropping her bombshell. She’d felt vaguely disappointed that he’d chosen not to follow her, to plead his case or even argue.
Was it that he didn’t give a crap? Would he be relieved to get rid of her? Or was he planning something more sinister? A man as powerful as Nathanael had equally powerful lawyers who could do anything. They negotiated the purchase and sale of skyscrapers on the other side of the world and almost always came out winning. She was sure they could twist something as comparatively trivial as a divorce in his favor.
What if he was planning to cut her off completely, leave her with nothing? Besmirch her name, accuse her of adultery or dishonesty, destroy her reputation? Would he try to convince the courts that she deserved no spousal support and housing?
But that wasn’t Nathanael. He enjoyed his wealth, but wasn’t obsessed with money. And she’d never known him to be stingy. Even after he’d left her pregnant, he’d hired their first nanny so she wouldn’t be alone. He’d never seized her access to any of his wealth, even after dropping the ‘D’ bomb weeks ago. Nathanael hadn’t blocked her access to his resources. He wouldn’t punish her if it meant that his son grew up living a less luxurious life than him.
A thought hit her that made her shiver. Standing at the nursery window, looking out into the darkness, she pulled her dressing gown closer around her, holding the collar closed with one hand.
What if he was scheming to take Benjamin away? Him and his newfound delight in fatherhood. Was he hatching a plot with his lawyers to challenge her for custody? She’d recently received Benji’s French passport in the mail. The courts here would sympathize with Nathanael as a French citizen. Would Nathanael sink so—
The phone rang, making her jump. It took her a few moments to orient towards the sound, and when she picked it up, she spotted the name on the screen and sighed.
Charisma, her sister, calling back for the third time today. They’d already argued twice, but the strong-willed younger woman was not the kind to let things lie unless she got her way. She guessed this would be round three of the ongoing battle.
She tried to put a little pep into her voice, even though she was tired and irritable and wasn’t in the mood to get into anything. “Hey, Rizza.”
“Shaundra.” Charisma’s voice was urgent. “You got to listen to me!”
“We’ve been over this,” Shaundra responded patiently. “I can’t just give you twenty grand—”
“Why not? Nathanael has wristwatches that cost more!”
“Maybe, but that doesn’t mean it’s my money to give away. And might I remind you that this isn’t the first time you asked me for money for your studies?” Last year, Shaundra had financed Charisma’s foray into the same dental school where Shaundra herself had qualified as a dental hygienist, joking that maybe one day she’d meet a rich patient at her boss’s office just like Shaundra had, but Charisma had flunked out after the first semester.
The year before, Charisma had decided she wanted to start a candle-making business, and after Shaundra had helped her buy tens of thousands of dollars’ worth of equipment and supplies, Charisma had decided she was allergic to the perfumes and didn’t like standing over hot pots of wax, and given it up.
Now, she was convinced that Cosmetology was not her thing and that six months in South America studying anthropology with some sketchy online university was the key to a successful career, but Shaundra wasn’t going for it.
On the other end of the line, Charisma had begun whining, something she did frequently and well. “You’re not fair! You’re being a selfish bitch! You’ve got loads of money. Why can’t you just give us some? You owe us!”
She felt her irritation flare higher. “How do I owe you money?”
“You’ve got a big house in France and a few houses in the States, a fleet of fancy cars, access to a private jet, and a husband whose got money coming out of his butt—”
He won’t be my husband much longer,Shaundra thought. But said nothing about that. She hadn’t even told her mother about her decision, and wasn’t looking forward to it. Irene adored Nathanael.