“Fine,” Charlotte groans. “I'll take my clothes off if that's what it’s going to take for you to stay in bed.”
I contemplate the offer, but my head is filled with anger and concern over our daughter’s well-being.
“Go to sleep. I won’t be long.” I lean over and kiss Charlotte on the cheek.
Quietly, I head downstairs to wait for Alexa, careful not to wake any of the grandkids. According to Ava, River is a light sleeper. Since she’s still an infant, the last thing I need is for a screaming baby to wake up, which in turn, can wake everyone.
The back door opens as soon as I turn the kitchen light on.
Alexa walks in, surprised to see me. My eyes are drawn to the short yellow dress she is wearing. Too short and too tight for a young girl. The anger inside me begins to swirl, forcing me to clench my fists to control myself. The girls all followed the dress code when they were growing up, though there were times Ava pushed to see how far she could get away with it.
“Oh,” is all she says, avoiding eye contact with me.
“Oh?” I repeat in a cold tone. “Is that the only response I'll get from you, considering it’s two hours past your curfew, and it's a school night?”
Alexa continues to ignore me, flicking her long chestnut brown hair over her shoulder as if I’m overreacting. Beneath her chest, she crosses her arms impatiently, waiting for me to call defeat and send her to her room.
“Anything you’d like to say, Alexandra?”
This time, she rolls her eyes with a puff of air leaving her lips.
“Let me guess. You’re calling me Alexandra, so I’m in big trouble? Assuming I’m grounded, you’ll take all my privileges from me because you are the controlling Lex Edwards.”
The heat inside my body rises to boiling point. How dare she disrespect me like she’s done nothing wrong. Charlotte’s voice plays in my head, but as far as I’m concerned, no matter what I say or do, Alexa will go against me regardless.
“You’re damn right you’re grounded,” I shout, slamming my fist on the counter. “How dare you worry your mother and me over your careless actions. You live in this house. You abide by our rules.”
“I’m over your rules!” she yells back, eyes blazing with fire. “I didn’t ask to be Lex Edwards’ daughter. This life was thrust upon me.”
“This life?” I tilt my head in confusion. “A life of having a roof over your head, food on the table, private schooling? I’m sorry. Please explain how awful it is for you to have what many children have to fight for.”
“You have no idea.” She lowers her head.
“No idea how spoiled you are? You have everything you want. Please, enlighten me. How terrible it is to grow up as our daughter?”
Slowly, her emerald eyes, the same shade as mine, lift to meet mine. There’s something unexplainable in the weight of her stare, and for just a moment, I want to reassure her we love her despite this argument.
But my compassion is short-lived.
“I hate you.”
And with her final words said, she storms out of the room, leaving me reeling. Never, in my time as a parent, have any of my girls ever used such strong language, even at the peak of our arguments.
Yet, the word hate is raw and soul-destroying, especially when your youngest daughter uses it so coldly.
It doesn’t take long for Charlotte to come downstairs. Alexa’s stomping up the stairs would have been enough to wake Charlotte if she was sleeping.
The moment she walks into the kitchen, she crosses her arms with a judgmental expression, one I've seen many times.
“Lex, I told you we needed to deal with this in a different way. All you're doing is pushing her away. The more you push, the less control you have over her.”
My lips pinch together, barely able to keep them shut in order not to lash out at Charlotte for Alexa’s behavior. I chose to keep the conversation to myself because if Charlotte knew what Alexa said, it would upset her immensely.
When it came to business, I controlled everything.
But with Alexa, I’ve lost control. Charlotte is right, I’ve pushed, and Alexa is running as far away from me as possible.
Just as I’m about to tell Charlotte precisely what we’re going to do with Alexa, a message appears on my screen. I half glance over, but then my eyes focus, slowly reading each word with a tightness forming in my chest.