My anger grows every second I see my sister in pain. The tightness in my chest refuses to dissipate even as I try to take breaths. All of this is unfair, but so much of my thoughts circle back to Elijah and his refusal of treatment. Maybe, if I pushed harder, he would have agreed and given himself a longer chance at life.
The guilt weighs heavily on my mind. Should I have done more? Battling with a man who is sick of fighting is perhaps the most brutal battle of all. Elijah is exhausted. His suffering is nothing any of us can imagine.
But my biggest worry is now my sister.
I cannot lose her.
There’s a gentle knock on the door.
“Come in,” I say.
The door opens as Charlotte walks in, pushing the stroller. With a forced smile, I know her too well to understand she’s terrified of what is about to come. We’ve talked about this openly and how useless we feel given everything is out of our control.
“Are you up for visitors?” Charlotte questions with slight hesitation.
“You’re family,” Adriana mumbles.
Charlotte walks in my direction, planting a kiss on my lips before moving toward Andrew. I’m distracted by my daughter being in my presence, admiring her sleeping peacefully inside her stroller.
“Adriana,” Charlotte whispers with a proud smile. “He’s beautiful. Can I hold him?”
“Of course.”
When it comes to babies, Charlotte is a natural. She picks him up so effortlessly, talking softly while cradling him in her arms.
“He has the Edwards’ nose,” Charlotte mentions with ease, “and Elijah’s light hair.”
“I’ll have to look at him every day, and it will remind me Elijah is no longer here,” Adriana blurts out.
My eyes dart to Charlotte, her painful expression struggling to compose her emotions.
“Adriana,” Charlotte begins until my sister shakes her head.
“No, Charlie. Why is no one talking about the fact that my husband will be dead soon, and I’ll be all alone raising a son who will look just like him.”
I clear my throat, aware Charlotte is just about to break down and cry again.
“Adriana,” I say softly. “We need to focus on now. Elijah is still with us. Let him enjoy his family. These memories are priceless.”
Adriana turns to look at me, but her face says it all—she’s done fighting. Her pale skin and tired eyes worry me. Even though she has just given birth, I’m unable to see the parental love kick in with her son. Not the way I saw Charlotte’s face light up the moment Amelia came roaring into this world.
“I want to be alone now,” is all she says with a blank stare.
“Of course.” I kiss her on the forehead as Charlotte begins to place Andrew back in the crib.
“Take Andy with you.”
“Andy?” Charlotte tilts her head, then shakes her head with a small smile. “It’s a cute nickname. But are you sure you don’t want to have some alone time with him?”
“No,” Adriana insists. “I want to be alone.”
Charlotte nods then places the newly named Andy down in the crib. She pushes him out as I push Amelia’s stroller, but I stop just shy of the door. “We’ll be outside if you need us.”
Adriana turns her back, facing the window again without another word.
As the door closes behind me, Charlotte drops her head to where Andy sleeps quietly.
“Lex, I’m worried.”