I was probably unfriended. Then there was the whole situation with Colton. He obviously cared, I cared that he cared. However, as I said to Matt, there was no me and Colton. He wouldn’t rock the boat anymore. It was quite obvious Connor was fragile and me and Colton being together would be too much.
Like I’d said to Corey, Connor didn’t want to be with me. He also didn’t want to see Colton with me.
I decided it would be best if all of us took a breather from each other. Then, with a heavy heart, I exited the shower.
I forced myself to pull my books out and tried to study. I had two days of this week left and then it was the weekend. I could avoid them all for a few more days.
School was uneventful on Thursday. The Buffs were playing a home game on Saturday and the decorations and school spirit were high, especially with their home win the week before. I genuinely enjoyed football, so it was easy to get caught up in the school excitement.
I didn’t see any of the guys and I had two nice days of uneventful school.
Jay had texted a couple times on Thursday, light playful texts. No pressure, no mention of Tattoo Neck. I didn’t want to raise it. I was happy living in denial.
Friday afternoon just as my last class for the day started, I got a text from Jay.
Jay:Can I come over tonight?
I gulped. What did that mean? Did that mean come over for TV and ice cream or did that mean come over to stay over? I didn’t know what to do. I was a single girl living alone, I was almost nineteen years old. Was it time to stop being so skittish?
I chewed the top of my pen in my concentration. I mean was it a big deal? I liked Jay, he was fun to be with. I had never been desperately holding onto my V-card, I just had never been in a situation where I was considering getting it punched.
Ok that was a terrible analogy. I needed a girlfriend. Of course, I couldn’t call Corey. What was I going to say, “Hi can you talk to me about sex please, how do you and Connor do it?” Yuck. I didnotwant to ever think of Connor having sex. It was like thinking of Matt having sex, I shuddered.
Maybe I could ask Theo? He was the loosest person I knew when it came to his approach to sex. He had literally no hang-ups about it. He didn’t think less of the girls he slept with, he respected them. He may not have wanted long term relationships with any of them, but he never let them believe anything else. It was all about fun. For both of them.
I needed some fun.
I just didn’t know if sex was the fun I was looking for.
I sighed. That afternoon at my mother’s funeral, I had been all over Colton. I wasn’t even thinking. I had needed him and he had wanted me. If we hadn’t been interrupted, I was in no doubt, I wouldn’t be worrying about this issue now.
Maybe I was reading too much into this? He only wanted to come over. It wasn’t like I was to be draped over the bed naked in preparation was it.
I snorted at the imagery. Poor guy.
Me:Sure. What time?
I got an instant response suggesting around 7:00 I agreed.
I chewed on my pen again. That was early enough that we could still go out. That was early enough that we’d have a looooong night in.
I was nervous.
I picked up my phone. I sent a text to Theo.
Me:I need to speak to you but I don’t want the others to know what it’s about.
I waited. I glanced at the board at the front of classroom. Good the professor was still droning on about microeconomics. Why I’d picked this class was beyond me.
Theo:That doesn’t sound good, but ok.
I grinned.
Then I wasn’t sure how to write the next text.
Theo:Lil Bit? I’m intrigued. Talk to me
I typed out the quickest response I’d ever written in my whole life.