“Yes. I totally plan to. There just wasn’t a good chance last ti—”
“Don’t.”
Even in the buzzing of the crowd, Ray’s voice is like a gunshot. “What?”
“Lucas doesn’t need to know.”
“But Ray… Mia is—”
“I know, but we can’t afford to lose her. Darcy…she can’t go through it again.”
I tilt my head. Darcy and Ray tried for adoption…?
“This is going to be so much worse. At least when you miscarry, you never get a chance to hold the baby. Darcy couldn’t love Mia more if she were her very own flesh and blood. You can’t do this to her, Ava. I won’t stand and watch her suffer.”
“I’m sorry, Ray, but I’m not doing anything to her. I just thought Lucas should know. It’d be wrong to be around Lucas and have him play with Mia and so on without letting him know she’s really his.”
“If that’s the problem, we just won’t spend much time together.” Ray runs his fingers through his gray hair. “You and Lucas are young, Ava. You can have more babies. We can’t. It’ll devastate us, and I don’t know what it’ll do to Darcy. She lost five babies, and our last adoption came to nothing because the mother changed her mind at the last minute. Does she have to lose the sixth, too?”
I gasp. I knew she’d miscarried, but five babies? Poor Darcy. No wonder she was so eager when I offered to let her adopt Mia.
Ray’s argument that Lucas and I can have another child is the same one I made to myself. But it would be wrong to withhold the information from Lucas. He is the father.
“You put down ‘father unknown’ on Mia’s birth certificate,” Ray continues. “If you say Lucas is the father now and you knew all along, he might say that his parental rights were never properly terminated and try to take Mia away from us. As long as there’s even a tiny chance of losing our daughter, you can’t.” Ray grabs my hand, his grip desperate. “Please.”
I’m torn, but his fear is so genuine I can’t do anything but nod. “I understand, Ray.”
“So you won’t tell him?”
As I study his tight expression, I can’t help but recall Bennie’s prediction that if Lucas and I got back together, it would have a profound effect on my foster parents and Mia. He was right about everything.
I shake my head. “Not…for now,” I say. “I hope you make an effort to get to know him. Then you’ll realize he won’t tear you and Mia apart. All he wants is to love me and make me happy, Ray. He knows hurting you will hurt me.”
“I’m glad you have that conviction, but I don’t. At least not yet. I just want to protect my family, Ava.”
“I know.” I squeeze his hand. “I’m not upset with you or anything.”
He nods. “Okay.”
“There you are!” Darcy’s bright voice makes me jerk like a dog guilty of gulping down a steak that was laid out on a counter.
Making sure to paste on a big smile, I turn around and hug her. “So good to see you, Darcy!”
She hugs me back. “Ava! You look wonderful.”
“Thanks,” I say. “I’m thrilled you’re here.” I squat down and kiss Mia on the soft cheek. “Welcome to L.A., little one.”
She smiles sweetly.
“She was a champ on the flight,” Darcy says, beaming. “Such a perfect child.”
My chest tightens with love. “That’s wonderful. Let’s get going. I’m sure you’re exhausted…and I have a lot to tell you.”
* * *
Lucas
I pace back and forth in Ava’s tiny apartment, waiting for her to return with her foster parents. Despite her reassurances, I’m anything but sanguine. I need time to cement the bond between us—time without interference from friends and family who disapprove of me. I appreciate that they’re genuinely worried about her. But it will be impossible for her to trust me if the people she loves keep sowing doubts—about me, about us.