“On a call with Justin in the living room. We just hung up.” He hands me a glass of water and a bottle of aspirin. “Here.”
“You went to the drugstore like that?”
“What?” His handsome face clouds with confusion. “No. It’s from the minibar.”
The pills probably cost ten dollars each, but I’m too desperate to care right now. I shove four into my mouth and chug down the water. A few drops trickle down my neck. I’m so hung over that I can’t even drink without spilling. I run the back of my hand across my mouth and chin, like I’ve been sloppily swilling beer.
Keeping it classy. Yeah, that’s me.
“What happened?” I ask, hoping against hope he remembers something.
“Not sure, but…” He scrutinizes my face, then a realization dawns on him. “You know.”
“You mean this?” I lift my hand to show him the ring. “Yes. How could I miss it? It’s a foreign invader parasite wrapped around my finger. Who did I marry and where is he?” I grab a fistful of hair in despair. “I need to get an annulment. Hopefully it can be done without a lawyer. I’d like to keep all my organs.”
“Well.” Nate clears his throat. “Uh…yeah. It’s a bit complicated.”
“How?” And why is he looking at me like…like he’s torn between panic and mild gratification?
He holds up his left hand. There’s a ring just like mine on his finger. Then he hands me his phone. I look at the screen. I’ve never, ever understood what people meant when they said they felt their heart drop to their feet. Now I do.
Because if the pictures are correct, Nate and I are now married through some ceremony I don’t even remember! And if that’s not bad enough, it’s plastered all over the Internet. My face isn’t even blurred in the photos. Everyone’s going to recognize me when I walk down the streets.
“This is slander!” I shriek, tossing the phone back to Nate. I can’t look at the lies anymore.
“Actually, it’s libel. Because, you know, it’s printed…”
“Argh! Do you think I care about that?”
He wisely says nothing.
“I don’t want to be married to you, and you don’t want to be married to me. We can just annul the whole thing. Nobody has to know, right? We’ll deny everything!” I say, coming up with various ways out, since my boss isn’t even trying. But that’s okay. I’m not going to be resentful, because this is what he pays me for.
“Actually…it’s not that simple.”
“Why not?”
“My brother called me this morning…”
“So?”
“…about our marriage.”
Oh no. Justin. Did he also call the rest of Nate’s family? “You denied everything, didn’t you?”
Nate clears his throat. “Well, that’s the thing. I kinda didn’t.”
“Why not?” I ask shrilly.
“Uh. Hangover? Couldn’t think fast enough.”
I inhale and exhale slowly. Okay. Okay. This isn’t a total disaster. I can fix it. There’s gotta be a way.
But before I can come up with a solution, there’s a knock at the door.
Nate sighs. “Finally. Damn room service. I need coffee, don’t you?”
“Yes,” I say. Caffeine should help me think better and faster. Might help jog Nate’s brain too.