“Because you haven’t raised your voice even once. And I know my daughter. When you’re truly h
urt, you turn cold.”
I let out a laugh of disbelief. “No, I don’t.”
“Yes, you do. You’re very much like your brother in that regard. But then, he taught you to do that.”
“Did he? I don’t remember.” I’m a warm, fun person, unlike my overly serious older brother.
“Oh, I think it was when you were in first or second grade—I can’t remember which, precisely. But you were upset about something and pitching a fit.”
“What was I upset about?”
“I don’t know. You were too busy screaming to tell me what was wrong.”
I drink coffee to hide my face behind my mug. That sounds like the worst kind of shameful behavior ever.
Mom continues, “Anyway, Eugene told you if you show how affected you are, you’re only humiliating yourself.”
I raise both my eyebrows. “I doubt I understood that when I was that young, especially when I was upset enough to be screaming the entire time.”
“Eugene put it more…bluntly and impactfully, with words that a child can understand. I’d rather not repeat it.” Mom smiles a “you know what I mean” smile.
He probably used a few bad words. I learned all my bad words from him, even though he denies it.
“But aren’t you happy I’m going to meet this Ryu Taejo? That’s what you wanted,” I say.
“Yes and no. I offered Declan money to leave you.”
Embarrassment blazes through me. “Mom!”
“What? I had to try.”
“He turned you down.” My tone is flat, but a tiny, tiny part of me is pleased he did. At least he didn’t fail me like that damned Woomin.
But he still failed, a voice inside me whispers. Maybe not like Woomin, but in a different way.
True enough. And it was a much more public way, so everyone, including all my friends, would know how little I mean to him.
“Yes, so I offered him one of the penthouses we own in Manhattan.”
I just shake my head. Mom is so shameless and persistent! “And…?”
“He turned that down, too. Apparently, he has no desire to move to New York City.”
Or leave me. The idea softens me a little, but then I remember that it probably had nothing to do with me. His career is here. In Hollywood. That’s why he didn’t want the penthouse.
If Mom had offered him a penthouse in Los Angeles… Well, who knows what he might’ve said?
“I also made my objections clear to him, but he defended himself fairly well. He was quite serious about being with you, and I thought…perhaps…” Mom sighs. “Perhaps he actually was the kind of man you said you wanted. A man who would put you first. I half wished he’d be that person even as we had the talk at Ivy’s place.”
Damn it. For Mom to come this close to accepting Declan makes everything more painful. I feel like an idiot for being such a terrible judge of character.
“I thought you’d be happy you got what you wanted,” I murmur softly, doing my best not to show how much I’m hurting.
The corners of her mouth turn downward. “No parent is happy to see their children sad.”
I look away briefly to control my churning feelings. Once I’m calmer, I face her. “I can’t cry or scream. I don’t think I could stop if I started. And I don’t want to waste my emotional energy on a man who doesn’t deserve it.” Because that’s a matter of pride.