The only thing between us was the falling rain. I stood on my tiptoes until my lips brushed against his.
A growl seemed to escape from his throat as he pushed my back against the wall. His lips met mine with a force I hadn't expected. His kiss was rough and savage as if he had been dreaming of my lips and nothing else. It wasn't comforting. It didn't feel like fire or ice. It sent an electricity through me. It made me feel like I could do anything, like his superpowers were spreading to me, like his strength was contagious. I felt alive.
He was being rough. It should have terrified me. But I felt safe in his arms. I grabbed the back of his neck to deepen the kiss and he groaned into my mouth. The noise was so carnal and raw. God, I wanted to hear it again and again.
He told me that I was everything. But he was wrong. This kiss was everything. He made me forget about Eli and Miles. He made the pain go away. I could barely breathe when he pulled away. My panting should have been embarrassing, but I didn't need to hide in front of him. He saw me. He watched my every move. He was my protector.
"If you want to help, then you can't run away from the darkness. You have to embrace it." He gently touched the side of my face with his glove, tracing the cut he had prevented from being worse. "But I don't want to see your light fade the way mine has."
"It already has. It faded a long time ago."
"It hasn't. You're stronger than you realize."
I couldn't even protest with him. The way he said it made it seem like a fact. I am strong. He believed in me more than I believed in myself.
"Which is why I can't accept your help. I refuse to turn you into something other than what I see in front of me. You have to go before it's too late." It sounded like it pained him to say it. Sirens wailed in the distance. His head turned toward the noise.
But I didn't want him to leave. I wanted to convince him that I could help. I wanted him to kiss me again. I wanted him to possess me. It was the only thing that seemed to keep my thoughts at bay. It was the only thing that could take away my pain. "Why can't you stop thinking about me?"
He leaned closer, and I closed my eyes, expecting another kiss. All my senses were overwhelmed. His expensive cologne seemed to consume me.
"It doesn't matter. Because I'm asking you to stop thinking about me."
I can't possibly.
"You're putting yourself in danger, because you think I'm looking out for you. But I'm not the only one watching. I know you can sense it. The way you look over your shoulder. The smile that plays on your lips. But it's not always me, Sadie. You're running out of time."
"Running out of time for what?" I opened up my eyes, but he was gone. I'm running out of time for what? The past few days, I had felt safe, knowing he was out there. But he was telling me that eerie feeling I got that someone was watching me was real. And that it wasn't always him.
Chapter 35
Tuesday
No one was coming to walk me home today. Eli and Miles probably weren't speaking to me after last night. The vigilante had kissed me but told me stop thinking about him. He told me it wasn't always him watching. It terrified me. I had pushed everyone away, partially because my mind seemed consumed by the vigilante, and now I didn't have anyone left. It felt like he had given up on me. So, I wasn't going to walk home, I was going to run home. I was going to get stronger. I was going to figure out how to take care of myself.
I pulled my hair into a ponytail and stared at my reflection in the mirror. For some reason, my Sagitta pendant felt heavy around my neck tonight. It almost felt like a burden instead of hope. The vigilante had asked me to forget about him. I wasn't sure I knew how. And I knew that I didn't want to. I pressed my lips together, trying to remember what his felt like against mine. If he so badly wanted me to forget, then why did he kiss me?
I shook my head and stepped out of the restaurant bathroom. There was no reason to dwell on it. The only things I should be thinking about were how to get home safe and what the vigilante meant by telling me I was running out of time. The problem was, I thought I knew what he meant by the latter. Don was coming. I could feel it in my bones, like he was getting closer by the second.
"No, I've got it," Joan snapped. "Just hang up your apron and I'll mail you your paycheck."
I glanced over at the mess on the floor. A new bus boy, so new that I hadn't even learned his name, had dropped a tray of dirty dishes. He almost looked like he was going to cry as he turned around. He kept his head low as he passed by me.
"Is everything okay?" I leaned down and helped Joan start picking up the broken dishes.
"Fine." She already seemed a little calmer. "He just had slippery fingers. I never should have hired him."
I thought about my first night when I had dropped a tray. Joan had been so nice to me. But it had only been one tray. The new boy had dropped one earlier tonight too. No one had even run into him, it just kind of fell out of his hands. He piled the trays too high. He really did have slippery fingers. And this tray had been piled high as well. There was broken glass everywhere. It was going to take a long time to clean up.
"I've got the rest," Joan said. "Besides, I bet you have plans with that handsome boy of yours. What did you say his name was?"
I definitely did not have plans with Miles. "Miles."
"Miles. That's a good strong name."
"Mhm," I said absentmindedly. "Tonight all I plan to do is go for a run and hang out with my roommate."
She smiled. "Plans are plans. Really, you can get going. Your shift is way over."