Chapter 33
Monday
I double checked that I had typed Mr. Crawford's name into my new phone correctly and pressed save. Even though I had put Kins' and Eli's numbers into my phone too, Mr. Crawford's was really the only one that mattered. The rest of the numbers were fleeting because I'd forever be a flight risk. Don would find me and I'd have to leave and start over again. Hell, maybe he already had found me.
I opened up Google on my laptop and typed in his name. There was no more new information about the case. He was still out on bail. It didn't make any sense. How had he gotten that money? I stared at the small article from the Colorado Post. They hadn't even set a trial date yet. Didn't they realize that they were making it impossible for me to move on? Just thinking about having to see him at trial made my whole body feel cold.
My fingers traced the scar on my stomach. It didn't really matter that Don was in a different state. It didn't really even matter if he ended up going to prison. I'd never truly be rid of him. The scars were a constant reminder. But at least the bruises were fading. I was finally rid of my hoodie. I looked down at the summer dress that I was wearing for my date with Eli. It almost felt strange. I was used to having the hoodie to hide behind. I suddenly felt exposed, like Eli would be able to truly see me for the first time. There was no way I could wear this in front of him. I couldn't let him see the real me.
I stood up to change when I heard a knock on the door. Who was that? I quickly closed my computer. I was supposed to meet Eli in just a few minutes. My heartbeat quickened. Kins would have just walked right in. So, there was really only one person it could be. Miles. I hadn't seen him since he had wanted to walk me home. Thinking about him made me smile, even though I knew better than to let it. It didn't matter if I was head over heels for Miles or not. Sadie Davis could never be with him. And Summer Brooks had lost her chance. I ran my fingers through my hair despite the fact that I shouldn't care, and looked in the mirror. The long chain of the pendant was visible but not the pendant itself. I ran my fingers down the chain. Miles was the only piece of Summer I had left and I wasn't sure how that was supposed to make me feel. All I knew was that this pendant had given me strength, and despite what I told myself, that was mostly because of him. I took a deep breath and opened the door.
Eli was standing there with a bouquet of flowers in his hand and a huge smile on his face.
"What are you doing here?" I didn't mean to sound rude, but I was finally going to get to see his place tonight. That was the whole reason I had agreed to miss out on work.
"I wanted to surprise you." He walked into my room without waiting for me to invite him in. "You look gorgeous, Sadie." He leaned forward and kissed me on my cheek.
Fire. I awkwardly folded my arms in front of my chest. "I was just about to leave. Should we head over to your dorm now?"
"I'd rather stay here." He handed me the flowers.
They really were beautiful. I knew very little about flowers, but I recognized more daisies and some carnations. "Thank you. But I was really looking forward to spending some time at your place." I looked around for something to put the flowers in because I didn't own a vase. Finally, I settled on separating the bouquet into a few water bottles. I turned back toward him. He was smiling at me. "What?" I tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. His gaze was making me nervous.
"Nothing, I've just never seen you look more beautiful than you do right now."
I swallowed hard. He was changing the topic. I couldn't shake the feeling that he didn't want me to see his place because he was hiding something from me. And it shouldn't have upset me, because I was hiding something from him too. I would never be able to tell him the truth. I'd have to lie to him my whole life. I was being a hypocrite and guilt was slowly creeping into my stomach. "Are you sure you don't want to go to your place?"
"Trust me, it looks almost exactly the same as yours. Except Patrick and Kins are there right now. And I was kind of hoping to spend some time alone with you."
That was a good excuse. God, maybe it wasn't an excuse at all. He was just telling the truth. I suddenly felt even more guilty. I just wanted to go to his place to look through his stuff. I really was losing my mind. He was a good guy. A good guy that was looking at me with lust in his eyes. He wants to be alone with me. I wanted to reciprocate his feelings, but all I could think about was the scar on my stomach. If he saw it, it would just end in yet another fight. I was tired of fighting with him. I was just tired in general.
"Plus," he said as he pulled out a brown paper bag from behind his back, "I come bearing gifts. You didn't get a chance to see the movie showing the other night and before you left you had seemed excited to watch it."
I opened up the bag. It was a DVD of Frozen and a bottle of wine. Something seemed to constrict in my chest. Eli was the sweetest guy I had ever met. He wasn't a vigilante spying on me. He wasn't someone who could ruin my new identity. Maybe he could help me get over my hate of Disney movies. Maybe he could help me get over all of my issues. "Thank you, Eli. Let me just get the TV set up..."
"I got it. How about you just grab us some glasses and get comfortable?" He knelt down by the DVD player.
I smiled as I looked around for something to use for glasses. I settled on two mugs, poured some wine into each, and sat down on my bed. I just wanted to be in his arms. I had missed the feeling of security he had given me. There wasn't a doubt in my mind that I'd been sabotaging a good thing. A week ago I had been falling for him. My paranoia was getting in the way of me being happy. But I didn't need to be paranoid. Don was in Colorado. I was safe here. Especially if I stopped pushing Eli away. I took a sip of the wine. With each sip, it felt like my worries seemed to dissipate.
When Eli sat down next to me, I immediately rested my head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around my back and pulled me even closer. He definitely didn't smell like the vigilante. He smelled like citrus and sunshine, not expensive cologne. But it was Eli's familiar scent that always seemed to calm my nerves. Yes, the idea of the vigilante was exciting, but I didn't need any more excitement in my life. I wanted normalcy. I wanted to be content and safe and whole. God, I was so tired of feeling broken.
"Do I even want to know where you got this?" I asked as I lifted my mug. The last thing I needed was to get in trouble for underage drinking and draw attention to myself. But I appreciated his effort.
"I have my ways." He kissed the side of my forehead.
"Very mysterious."
He laughed. "A little mystery never hurt anyone."
"Cheers to that." I tapped my mug against his and he laughed again. I liked his laugh. It made me smile. We both watched the movie and drank the wine from our mugs. One mug turned to two and I could feel myself getting more comfortable in his arms. We seemed so normal together. I never wanted this moment to end. But it wasn't long before the parents' deaths in the movie. I waited with baited breath. No matter how hard I tried to hold them back, silent tears still fell down my cheeks as I watched the parents' boat sink in the movie. I let myself feel the heartache. I let myself remember.
But my tears weren't silent at all. Eli saw them. His fingers brushed underneath my eyes, removing any trace of my tears. "You're incredibly cute." He didn't ask what was wrong. He probably thought he knew. But he didn't know all of my demons and I didn't want him to. I wouldn't want to burden anyone with my past.
"And you're way too good for me," I said. I meant it. He should be with any other girl on campus other than me. I'd never be enough.
"Really? I was kinda thinking we were just right together." His voice was so sincere.
Just right. I exhaled slowly. "I like the sound of that."