I know Cole can hear me. How can he not when I’m one interval away from shouting? I don’t care that we are on the school’s front quad.
“Iwant to talk,” I repeat more sternly.
“Nice car,” he mutters over his shoulder. Never slowing his pace. “Horrendous parking job.”
My steps falter at the sarcasm that hangs dripping from his every word. Flustered wings of anger sprout inside my belly.
“Is this how it’s going to be then? You get to go back to being a dick and I’m just supposed to accept it?” I’m not sure if it’s him or me I’m rationalizing this with.
Either way, it gets his attention, Cole’s foot stopping midstep.
“Have I truly meant that little to you?” I ask, heaving out my disbelief.
His shoulders swell, harsh lines forming along the indents in his back. Widening as they move with every exhale.
A sickening feeling settles in my stomach. He’s listening, but he refuses to turn around and I refuse to take another step.
Part of me wishes he would so I can gauge his reaction. The other part is thankful that he hasn’t. Somehow, it’s easier to admit these things without those intrusive eyes penetrating straight into my soul.
“Why did you fuck me?” I choke out, feeling lighter than I have in days.
The muscles in his back tighten. The thin material of his white button-down shirt outlining his every flexed jerk of uneasiness.
My throat clogs.
I shouldn’t like the sight of that as much as I do. I’m upset with myself for being so drawn to him, even as everything in me tries to push him away.
It’s a hard thing to deny when I’ve felt the strength that they can carry. The power he holds is not only there on his upper body but everywhere else as well. Cole’s a solid powerhouse of force.
A stoutness that I used to be able to call mine.
“Cole, stop! Don’t walk away,” I panic as he starts to move again.
He doesn’t get to ignore this anymore—meanymore. This conversation should have happened long before now.
“Talk to me.” I sound exhausted, but the truth is I am. I’m tired of questioning myself. Speculating my own theories instead of asking for the truth.
His body whips around so fast I’m surprisedIdon’t see stars. “What? What do you want, Rory?” He seethes. A grated edge in his tone.
“I want to know what that was between us at your house.”
“A fuck. That’s it.” Eyes charged but also blank and empty. “That’s all it was, Rory.” He has no empathy for me.
Detached, he’s done holding back.
My tongue scrapes at my teeth, hating him like this. “That’s it then? It’s that simple, huh?”
I don’t believe him.
We’ve never been simple. It’s not who we are.
“That’s what I said, isn’t it?” he rages, widening his arms as he backpedals.
Revulsion for him sits like acid in my stomach. Erosive as it is pungent.
“You’re such a dick.”
“And you’re a pain in my ass!” He fumes. Words unshaken as they spew from his mouth.