It’s a dilemma I’m still processing.
“People will break you, Rory.” Iceman doesn’t break things.He pulverizes them.“Cut you open withorwithout ever intending to. You’ll bleed at first but then you know what happens?”
She continues before I can answer. Unaware that my insides have unraveled themselves to the gravel.
“One day you’ll heal and all that will be left is a scar.”
My shock shoots all the way through my teeth. “The scar isn’t what I’m worried about.” I have plenty of those.
“Then what are you afraid of?”
I exhale but it’s rough. Her intrusiveness easier to avoid when facing forward, so that’s what I do.
Although shattered into a million pieces, I know deep down my heart’s still in his hands and it kills me because I never asked for it to be his. He took it without permission.
If he has it, then there’s no hope for me. He’ll break me over and over again and I’m trapped. I don’t know how to set myself free.
That’swhat I’m afraid of.
“He came so far; he should have kept going.” Heaving out sarcasm is easier to express than other thoughts.
“You’re being stubborn.”
“I think I’ve earned it.”
“You might change your mind one day.”
About being stubborn? I snort, not likely.
Finn steps out of the still-running vehicle then. Opening the trunk and shuffling the loose duffels around.
The movement shoots something back to my memory when I spot my bag in the pile. Before I didn’t think I wanted to know but now I need to. My book bag on top as he slams it back shut.
I jerk my head in Alma’s direction. “You remember that book you gave me a long time ago?”
Guess I did want answers after all.
“The red one with the little girl on the cover. Yes?”
“Where did you get it?”
“I found it on a table after a customer left it behind.”
An unusual pinch sets in the corners of her eyes. Something off about it but I don’t know what or why.
“Why didn’t you throw it away?”
She studies my face closely on a pause before saying, “Would you have thrown it out?”
My shoulders fall. “No, I guess I wouldn’t have.”
Her head cocks in agreement as if to sayexactly.
Alma knows how I am with reading. Part of her I like to fault for my obsession with books.
“Why give it to me?” I rush out.
She gives me a more stern look this time and my frown deepens. I already know the answer to that too.