My teeth hurt from clenching my jaw. And when our eyes met, she looked at me with pure hatred. Marcello and Bastian could give her everything she wanted without a shit ton of baggage attached. They could make her happy. Damian and I were the fucked up ones. We had too many demons to feed and enjoyed exploring the darkness inside our souls.
“I won’t let you marry Marcello.”
“This isn’t about choosing between you and Marcello. Jut give me some space to think.” Her voice trembled as she spoke. “Please. When you’re around, I feel like I can’t breathe.”
I narrowed my eyes at her. “And when you’re with Marcello, how do you feel?”
I didn’t want the truth. So why did I bother to ask?
Because you need the pain.
She glanced over at Marcello, and then her eyes landed on me. “Like I can be myself. He doesn’t make me feel crazy. It’s as easy as breathing when I’m with him.”
“And how do you feel about me?”
I was such a masochist for asking.
“Like you’re holding my head underwater. I can’t think straight when we’re together.”
I needed to get the fuck away from her before I snapped.
She grabbed my wrist and pulled my gaze back to her. “Let me finish.”
“Go ahead. Tell me how much you hate me.”
“When I’m with you, I feel like I’m losing control. Like I’m standing at the edge of a cliff with you, seconds from falling off. You make my skin burn, my insides melt. It’s intoxicating and suffocating. So when I say I can’t breathe, it’s because you are my air. My oxygen. Sometimes, I don’t even realize how lost I am until I see you. Look into your eyes. Feel your body against mine. And the world disappears because it’s you and me and…” Tears streamed down her cheeks by the time she finished her spiel. “But I still need space, okay? Can you give me that?”
She loves me.
When she was younger, she wore her emotions on her sleeve. It was so obvious she wanted me. It was one of many reasons I pushed her away.
“I need you as much as you need me,” Alex stated. “But I also need your brothers. Deal with it.”
I couldn’t even look at her. “Guess I don’t have a choice.”
“Not if you want to keep me in your life.”
If I were a normal man, I would have professed my love, gotten down on one knee, and begged her to forgive me. But fuck that. I was not about to grovel at her feet. So I stormed out of the room before I burned the fucking house down.
Long fingers slid down my arm, and I rolled onto my side, half asleep. I groaned, swatting a man’s hand away. Despite my protests, he lifted me from the bed, enfolding me in his arms. He stroked his fingers through my hair, so loving and gentle.
My mind drifted between sleep and consciousness. Shoes slapped a hard surface. We moved down a set of stairs with my head rested on his chest.
“Where are you taking me?” I slurred.
I tried to open my eyes, peel my head from his chest. But my head buzzed from a fierce migraine, my skull pounding so hard I couldn’t see straight. Had someone drugged me? No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t find the strength to fight back.
We walked through a door and into the darkness of the late summer night with nothing more than the moonlight to guide us. A car door opened and several sets of footsteps follow us. He set me on a leather bench inside of an SUV and climbed in beside me. I could smell him, sense him, but I couldn’t see my captor.
A few more people hopped into the car with us, and we drove in complete silence. No music, nothing, only the sound of the man beside me breathing. As the car rolled forward, he placed his hand on my back, his fingers tracing slow circles, which soothed me.
Five minutes passed before someone turned on the radio, and a rock song I could not place floated through the speakers.
“What the fuck is this shit?”
A man groaned from the front seat, then switched the song to rap music. The words blended together as we rode down a hill, the steep decline causing my heart to race. It felt like I was free falling, about to roll off the edge of the world… and then muscular arms pulled me back.
We came to a stop, two men argued in another language, and then doors opened. Someone grabbed me, rough fingers poking my sides. The fog slowly cleared from my brain as we exited the car. Images were becoming clear, though the darkness still consumed me.