He nods wordlessly like it’s not a big deal, but I still think it is.
“Have you lied to me before?” I ask tentatively, wanting to test out this new arrangement, but cognizant that too far too fast might unravel the whole thing.
My doubts are bolstered when his gaze takes on a guarded look. Arms crossed, he nods. “I suppose you could say that.”
What did you lie about?
That’s too much. I don’t want to obliterate his comfort all at once. He needs to get comfortable being honest with me, then if there are relevant lies that need to come out, they can.
“Did you…” I hesitate, my question sounding so monstrous in my head, I’m afraid to ask.
He sees my hesitation and gives me a push. “Go ahead, ask.”
“Um…” I look up at him, feeling a bit guilty for even asking. It would be horrible to lie about something like that, but before I get my mom’s hopes up, I have to know. “Were you telling the truth about the oncologist your family knows? Can he really help my mom?”
The guardedness in his gaze clears. “Yes, of course I was telling the truth about that. I don’t know for certain he can help your mom, but I’ll reach out to him today after school. I hope he can.”
I breathe a sigh of relief. I didn’t want to believe he would lie about something like that. It would’ve undercut all the nice feelings I’ve been having toward him. Anyone who lied to someone in my position about something like that would have to be too malicious to even try to understand.
A little voice whispers at the back of my mind that he could still be lying. Giving me truths he’s comfortable parting with to support his claim and effectively lower my guard. Just because he said it doesn’t mean that he means it.
I want to give him the benefit of the doubt, though.
I have heard a lot bad about him, but I can see something good in him, too.
It’s the good I like most, but if I’m being honest with myself, there are aspects of the badness I don’t hate. It’s infuriating and somehow amusing at the same time how he manipulates the world around him. I haven’t seen him be actually malicious; he’s just a spoiled ass who likes getting his way. Who doesn’t like getting their way? Most people just don’t do the shit he does to get it.
“Can I ask one more?”
He nods.
“It’s personal.”
His expression doesn’t change.
“It’s about Anae.”
He cracks a smile. “Just ask.”
“Do you—?” I hesitate. It’s too personal, too invasive. I don’t even know why it really matters, but I can’t stop myself from asking, even if I might not like the answer. “Do you love her?”
“No.”
His answer comes easy. That feels like a relief until I remember how easily he lies, but I have a strong sense that he’s not lying about this.
“Does she know that?” I ask.
He lifts his broad shoulder and shrugs. “How should I know what Anae knows?”
“Have you ever told her you did?”
“No.”
My eyebrows rise in surprise. “Never?”
He shakes his head. “Why should I lie about that?”
“I don’t know. Guys do.”
He rolls his eyes. “Some guys, maybe. Personally, I don’t need to tell a girl I love her to get what I want from her.”
“Because you’re just so irresistible?” I tease, grabbing my drink and taking a sip.
Dare’s gaze lingers on my lips as I lick them. I put the glass down softly. His gaze darkens, then shoots purposefully to meet mine.
Thankfully, before either of us has to say anything, the waitress interrupts the moment to drop our spinach and artichoke dip off at the table.
“Thank you,” I say a little more vehemently than is reasonable for just serving an appetizer.
“Of course,” she says brightly. “Can I get you anything else?”
“Nope. We’re good,” Dare says, his tone wryly amused.
Chapter eleven
Aubrey
The windows are down as we head back toward the school. I’m feeling light and breezy like I haven’t in… I can’t even recall the last time I felt so free.
Maybe before Dad left.
Probably before Mom’s diagnosis.
I know it’s been a long time.
I want to stick my head out the window like a dog and let the wind blow my hair all to hell. I want to spread my arms and fly.
I probably shouldn’t have had that cocktail at lunch.
I never drink, so I’m a total lightweight.
I’m sad when we drive away from the beach, but I know it’s time to get back to the real world. We stayed way late at the restaurant. I missed my government class, but we’ll make it back so I can finish up with psych before Dare has to take me home.
That’s the plan, but then Dare misses the turn back toward the school. I think maybe he was distracted and he’ll take the next road and circle back, but he keeps driving.