A first-class lounge, so exclusive it wasn’t even badged, awaited them. Luca was clearly known here by name. Here, it was easy to find a private corner—there were only half a dozen or so other travellers, and the room was enormous.
At a table in the distant corner, he pulled out a seat. She eyed it sceptically, nervously, then eased herself into it.
‘Thank you.’
He took the seat opposite, and the table seemed to shrink about three sizes. She toyed with her hands in her lap, then forced herself to stop, to meet his gaze. To be strong enough to do this.
‘What would you like to discuss?’
His laugh was a short, sharp sound, totally lacking amusement. ‘What you said on the phone, for one.’
‘Which part?’
His eyes narrowed. ‘Which part do you think?’
She compressed her lips, the answer obvious. ‘Why?’
‘Olivia, you told me you never wanted to fall in love. When we agreed to this marriage—’
‘I know that. I’m sorry.’
‘You’re sorry?’
‘We had a deal. I broke it. I never meant to. I didn’t want to love you.’
‘How do you know it’s love?’
She frowned, the question totally surprising her. ‘How do I know the sky is blue or the earth is round?’
‘Science?’
She smiled despite the heaviness in her heart. ‘Fact. And this is fact. Not scientific, perhaps, but no less real.’
‘Since when?’
Another question she hadn’t expected. ‘I can’t say. Probably the moment you heard me out. I half expected you to get me thrown out of that party in Rome. That you didn’t, that you listened and agreed to my crazy proposal, showed me what a decent guy you were. And every day since—’
‘And every night?’
‘Yes, every night.’ She swallowed. ‘But this isn’t just about sex. I mean, that’s a part of what I love, but it’s so much more than that.’
He stood up, scraping his chair backwards, pacing towards the windows, gazing for a moment at the aeroplanes lined up on the tarmac, their tails forming a perfect line, then turning, staring at her as if pulling her apart piece by piece. ‘The thing is, Olivia, I need to know that you know, beyond a shadow of a doubt. Because I thought I was in love, once, and I believed my wife loved me, but it was the worst mistake of my life. And yet, the impact of Jayne’s breaking up with me is nothing compared to this.’ He returned to the table, bracing his palms on the edge. ‘With her, my pride was hurt. I was blindsided. But losing you—’
She held her breath, her features contorted by confusion.
‘I can’t have you say that you love me, if you are then going to decide you don’t. I can’t let this be a real marriage, in every way, unless you promise me that’s what you want. Don’t you see, Olivia? I suggested a continuation of what we had because it was safe. What you’re offering, what you’re asking for, is filled with risks.’
‘Yes.’ She nodded, her heart soaring at what he was unintentionally revealing. Or was he? Her own feelings burned so brightly, she feared she’d lost the ability to comprehend his. ‘I’m aware of that. Like the risk that you might not love me back. Or that your love for me might turn to hate, just as my father’s did for my mother.’
‘I know enough about love turning to hate. I had a masterclass in it with Jayne. But that doesn’t mean I would ever hurt you. Not like your father hurt your mother.’ His eyes probed hers. ‘Ask yourself if I could ever be capable of the things he did, or if you could ever act as Jayne did. You know the answer to that.’
She bit back a sob.
‘I love you because you’re nothing like him,’ she whispered, dipping her head forward. ‘But that doesn’t mean you won’t hurt me. That you’re not hurting me now.’
He crouched down in front of her face, reaching out and removing her glasses, placing them on the table softly. At the sight of her tear-reddened eyes, he cursed softly. ‘I don’t want you to go.’
‘I know that.’ Anguish tore through her. ‘But I can’t stay.’