“Again, don’t tell me if you’re planning to off your husband. I can’t do shit to help you then,” she chuckles.
“I’m serious. How am I going to survive six months with him?”
“Maybe you can get some hot sex out of the deal and finally get over him?”
“I wish.” Falling back on the bed, I stare up at the ceiling. “How am I going to keep my secret from him?”
“Spend as little time with him as possible. Just because you have feelings for him doesn’t mean he deserves them.”
“You’re right.”
“Besides, after the first fart, the crush will die a quick death.”
I let out a burst of laughter. A knock on my door has me saying, “I have to go. Talk to you later.”
“Good luck!”
I end the call, then say, “Come in.”
The door opens, and when I see my mom, I sigh with relief.
She shuts the door and comes to sit next to me. Wrapping an arm around my shoulders, she asks, “How are you holding up?”
“I’m not sure.”
God, this is a clusterfuck.
“You don’t have to do this,” Mom says. “I know everyone else is demanding six months, but if you don’t want to give this marriage a try, then don’t. I won’t let anyone force you.”
I wrap my arms around my mother, hugging her tightly. “I’m not sure what I want, Mami,” I admit.
God, my emotions are all over the place. I can’t believe Luca and I got married.
She pulls back and locks eyes with me. “What do you mean?”
I hesitate for a moment, my thoughts jumping all over the place. I lock eyes with Mom, then say, “This has to stay between us.”
“Of course.”
My teeth tug at my bottom lip, then I admit my secret to her, “I love Luca.”
Mom’s eyebrows dart up with surprise, and she blinks at me. “Since when?”
“Since forever,” I sigh, my shoulders slumping. I let out a groan. “That’s why I’ve been so bitchy around him. I was trying to hide my true feelings.
“Oh, sweetheart,” she whispers. She brushes her hand over my hair to comfort me. “Isn’t this a good thing then?”
I shake my head, feeling downright miserable. “I don’t want a marriage of convenience. It would’ve been nice to have the romance that usually comes before a wedding and to know the man I’m marrying actually loves me.”
Mom wraps her arm around my shoulders. “You’re my daughter, Mariya. If I could make your father fall in love with me, you can make Luca love you.”
“How? I’m pretty sure I annoy him just by breathing.”
“Do you really think a man like Luca would face your father’s wrath for a woman he doesn’t care about?”
I shake my head. “Luca only cares about the ties between our families. His decision has nothing to do with how he feels about me.”
Mom gives me a tight squeeze. “I think he cares, but if that’s not the case, then you show him what an amazing woman you are and make him fall for you. Take what you want, sweetheart.”
If it were that easy, I’d have done it already.
Glancing around the room, I ask, “Do I have to pack everything?”
There are so many conflicting emotions swirling in my chest. I don’t want to leave the only home I’ve ever known. This is my safe space.
But I can’t help feeling a little excited that I might have a chance to make Luca mine.
Mom’s right, maybe I can make him fall for me.
Maybe I can have a happily ever after with the man of my dreams.
And maybe we’ll freaking kill each other.
Ugh.
Mom shakes her head. “Take only what you need. Your room will always be right here waiting for you.”
The door opens, and Dad comes in. Mom presses a kiss to my temple then leaves me alone with Dad.
Lifting my eyes, I meet Dad’s dark gaze. We stare at each other for a moment until I feel no older than sixteen. Darting up, I slam into my father’s arms and admit, “I’m scared.”
Dad holds me tightly and presses a kiss to my hair. “Luca won’t dare hurt you.”
I shake my head. “It’s the unknown that terrifies me.”
Pushing me backward, Dad leans down and looks at me with so much love it makes my throat tighten and tears burn at the back of my eyes. “You’ve known Luca all your life. He’ll be good to you.”
But he doesn’t love me.
Dad brings a hand to my cheek. “And I’m only a call away. You’ll have Lev and Ivan with you as well.”
For a moment, I contemplate turning on the waterworks, knowing Dad won’t force me to go through with this marriage if I’m one hundred percent against it.
But hope stops me dead in my tracks.
Feeling the effects of the hangover and emotional war waging in me, I let out a sigh. “Do you really think Luca and I can make it work?”