The tensions had eased between us, and we’d become almost friendly over the last few months. She was seeing someone, a doctor from the city and came across more settled and relaxed these days. “Tell me,” I said.
“Dana thought you couldn’t live without her. And you let her think that.”
“I did?”
“You told her that! I heard you introducing her to people sometimes as ‘my other half’ and then you’d joke and say she was your better half.”
“I did that?”
“While we were married!” Skye laughed to show she wasn’t offended. “I knew Dana didn’t like me, but I guess she was never as threatened by me as she was by Natalie. Then again, things between us went bad quickly, didn’t they…”?
“I’m sorry about that,” I said. “I don’t think I’ve said it before.”
“No,” Skye said, amazed. “I don’t think you have!”
In the two days since Natalie’d been gone, I’d done a lot of thinking. I’d thought a lot about the women in my life. There were things I’d done that I wasn’t proud of. Skye didn’t have to know that I’d been unfaithful to her too. Perhaps she knew. When I met her, I had decided that a wife was the next step in my career. I picked someone from a good family with excellent connections, to help me further my company. Skye had made an impression on me at some party as the kind of girl who looked good on your arm, whom you could take to any society event or party. An accessory, basically. I thought she would be low maintenance, but even by my own standards, I hardly made any effort with her at all.
“I wasn’t a good husband,” I said.
“I wasn’t a good wife,” she said, and we laughed. It felt good to laugh together.
Ethan came down the stairs with his bag and they went out to Skye’s car. Before she got in, she turned to me.
“I like Natalie,” she said. “I think she’s good for you.” She winked at me. “She brings out the human in you.”
She drove off and I stood on the gravel, watching them leave. Long after they’d disappeared, I was still standing outside, my hands deep in my pockets. Around me the trees were swaying in the wind. Fall was here and temperatures dropped quickly. It was already quite cold. But I wasn’t ready to go back inside yet. I turned and looked at the enormous house, completely empty but for me. All the lights on to make me feel at home, the lighting arranged to create a warm atmosphere. But it had never been that. The house was always somehow a little too stiff, too formal to feel welcoming. I walked around to the garden, and down to the play area. What a good idea that had been! Ethan had loved to play there.
Nattie.
The last message I’d received from her had been last night. She said they got home safely, and she’d let me know when she’d be back. It felt too open-ended, too indefinite. She was slipping away from me; I could feel it. It had been in her eyes when she’d left. There had been sorrow in her eyes, which I hadn’t seen before.
I couldn’t bear the idea that she might not be back. She had never looked more beautiful to me, as when she had stood there, ready to go and leave me.
But giving up was not my style.
It never had been.
When I want something, I go out to get it.
I decided to grab a jacket and head out to Cape Cod, where I would probably have to brave her mother again and possibly fight off her father to get to her. But I was willing to do it. I couldn’t let her drift away from me like this. Every day we were apart, there was a bigger chance of her not coming back.
I went back to get my car keys.
Something wasn’t right.
I blinked once, not trusting my eyes.
But they were not betraying me. My car was on fire. Flames came out of the open windows, licking at the roof, racing across the paint. I went closer, to look at it, realizing too late that it was probably about to explode. From behind the burning car, a figure emerged.
Dana.
Her face was contorted with rage. She was almost unrecognizable with anger.
“You blocked me! I couldn’t even go back to the office to fetch my gym bag!”
“Dana… “
“I gave you everything!”