"You like the thought of me being your pet, being addicted to your blood?" I say, strangely breathy at the thought myself. "I wouldn't want to be addicted to your blood." But even as I say it, the thought does something upsetting to me – it excites mecompletely.
"You just can't lie very well," he says, staring down into myeyes.
"I know." I remember how I felt when I took his wrist in my mouth. "I can't even lie to myself. But I hate the idea, even if a part of my mind loves it. It would be terrible. It would be atragedy."
"You don't ever have to do it," he says, his voice quiet. "I admit it appeals to me, but I hate the idea of it as well. I hate the idea that I want it. I have to pray very long and very hard about it, Eve. I do a lot of penance forit."
"Hmm," I say, smiling up at him. "I like the idea of you doingpenance."
"Oh, I do an awful lot of it. Speaking of which," he says, trying to frown, but unable to wipe off that lopsided grin. "You kept tempting me with your dimples. Several times you ignored my commands…" He raises his eyebrowsplayfully.
"I need more training," I say, grinning as wickedly as I canmanage.
He makes that throat sound and presses his body against meharder.
"Do you have any idea what that does tome?"
I press back against him. "I think I have a pretty goodidea."
He cups my cheek, strokes my skin with histhumb.
"It scares me," I say, swallowing back anxiety. "How omniscient you are. Knowing me better than I knowmyself."
"But you can know me as well," he says softly. "In a way no normal human can. You'll get better and better at it – listening in, finding things. I've only got an advantage because you're so new at this. I've had eight hundred years ofpractice."
I look up at him, his blue eyes so beautiful, his dark hair hanging a bit in his eyes, his skin so pale like an angel, and I have to look away. The age thing does something funny to me that I can't immediately understand, and don't want to. I only know it makes me feel weak-kneed and a bitdizzy.
"How do I obey?" I say, barely able to speak, my cheeks hot. "When I'm so used to being incontrol?"
"Just give yourself permission. Don't question. Don't hesitate. Don't resist. Don't think. Justdo."
"But thinking is how I get through theday."
"You don't need to think with me." He takes my chin in his hand and tips my face up, staring into my eyes. "It doesn't mean you're weak. It means you're strong. It means you trust me. A priest understands obedience, Eve. Priests aren't weak because they obey God's will. It makes us strong. That absolute trust provides so much strength and comfort. It's our joy. It could be yours aswell."
I close my eyes because this is making me so emotional, my eyes brimming. I feel almost faint, like I'm not getting enough oxygen and I try to breathe in deeply to calm my poundingheart.
"Mon dieu," he says, his voice breaking. "You are so beautiful…" He takes my face in his hands and leans down to kiss me, finally, his lips soft on mine, tender, then parting, his kiss becoming more passionate so that my heart races and my body responds. He pulls back and looks in my eyes, and I see so much desire there, so muchlust.
"Eve," he says, his voice husky. "I wantyou."
I swallow back the impulse to be embarrassed. "I want you,too."
Oh,God…
Then I lose myself in him, in his kiss and in his arms. When he carries me to the bed, I don'tfight.
I know things will never be the sameagain.
Afterwards, we lie together, our arms around each other, and he starts to kiss my face, my cheeks, for I'm smiling. Then his mouth finds my neck and I know how much he wants to taste my blood right now, how much he wants to feed, and I feel his teeth sharp and on my skin and I almost tell him to just do it. But the moment passes and he pulls away and rests on his elbows above me, his eyes slowly returning to normal, his teethretracting.
I glance at him lying on top ofme.
"How long will you be away?" I run my hand along hisshoulder.
He examines his hands, rolling Julien's ring on hisfinger.
"It depends on how things go. I must negotiate a deal with Soren to use his blood to resurrect Julien. I won't bargain him away for good, but Julien will be his servant for some good amount oftime."