“I’m sorry, Mary,” was all she could utter, as the carriage reached the gates.
The tunnel to the outside world couldn’t fit more than the breadth of the carriage, halting Mary in her desperate tracks. Saoirse had known that would happen. Still, part of her wished she could throw open the door, grab Mary, and take the old woman with her.
“Saoirse, ye must see reason!” Mary shouted as the carriage entered the tunnel. “At least wait until he returns, so he can ye tell ye his side! Stories are like coins, Saoirse—they always have two sides! Please!”
But Saoirse didn’t reply. She sank back into the squabs and covered her face with her hands, sobbing into the ring of the man who’d betrayed her. The sound that gurgled from her throat was a cry of deep and brutal pain, potent and savage like there was a vicious beast trapped inside her, trying to claw its way out. Once upon a time, she would’ve been too “proper” to let out her grief with such intensity, but she didn’t care who heard her pain as the carriage trundled on.
How could he?The question repeated again and again, as fresh rain spattered the carriage window.
The news had come while she’d been in her chamber, making a vain attempt to fall asleep without her husband. Mary had burst in first, with Henry following close behind. The man had clearly rushed there, and the sight of him, battered and bruised, had heralded his bad tidings.
How could ye do that to him, threatenin’ his life if he told me the truth?Even now, it didn’t entirely sound like the behavior of the man she had fallen in love with, but perhaps she didn’t know him at all.
The carriage rattled on to the melancholy music of her heart breaking. Every breath hurt, but her lungs couldn’t seem to get enough air. Worse still, she didn’t know if she would be welcomed at Baxter Keep, when she finally arrived. Would her parents tell her to return to Thorn Castle to fix her marriage? Would they tell her to accept the betrayal and move on? She didn’t think she had it in her to do either of those things.
Turning her blurry gaze out of the window, she saw the first blue hues of dawn beginning to lighten the sky. Everything had happened so quickly that there hadn’t been any time to check the clock. All she’d known was that she had to get away from the Castle as soon as possible, and certainly before Noah returned. The very idea of facing him, knowing what he’d done, was too much to bear.
I’ll have to send for my belongings,she realized. It was such a silly thought, really, considering her world was crumbling around her. What did gowns and jewelry and books matter?
Waiting for the sun to rise, her body rocked by the side-to-side sway of the carriage, she mistook the thud of hooves for the agonized beating of her weary heart.
“Is my wife inside?” a familiar voice shouted.
“Aye, M’Laird,” the driver replied.
“Then, halt the carriage!”
Saoirse lunged for the window, poking her head out. “Daenae halt the carriage! Continue as ye were!” she demanded, grateful that the early morning shadows concealed Noah’s face.
“I cannae dae that, M’Lady,” the driver said apologetically.
“Aye, ye can!” Saoirse urged. “Please, continue!”
But the carriage had already rolled to a standstill. This was precisely why she had not wasted a moment in leaving the Castle, fearing that Noah would come back and stop her before she was far enough away. Still, it appeared that her hasty exit had been for nothing. The driver would always obey his Laird before his Lady.
Panicking slightly, Saoirse fumbled for the bolts that held the carriage doors shut. If he thought she was going to let him in, he had another thing coming.
Ye willnae trick me with yer charm,she vowed, slipping off the squabs and onto the carriage floor. She pressed her back up against the door, determined to ignore her husband until he let her resume her journey.
Her heart thudded wildly as she heard his footsteps approach.
A light knock tapped on the window. “Saoirse, would ye let me in? I ken ye’re likely upset and angry, but ye’ve nay reason to be. If ye speak with me, I’ll explain everythin’.”
“There’s nothin’ ye can say that I wish to hear,” she muttered in reply. “I ken it all, Noah, and that’s all there is to it. Ye made a promise and ye broke it, and that means our vows are as nothin’ to ye. So, I’m leavin’ ye to do whatever ye please. Indeed, ye should be glad of it—is that nae what ye wanted from the beginnin’?”
On the other side of the door, Noah sighed heavily. “Just open the door.”
“I daenae ken why I’m surprised,” Saoirse went on. “I shouldnae even be upset. Ye said ye could never love me. Ye said ye dinnae have it in ye to love me. I kenned why that was, and I kenned of the only lass ye’ve ever loved. Of course, it would be her that ye betrayed me with. I should’ve kenned that, if she ever came back, ye’d cast yer promise aside. But I willnae be made a fool of, Noah. I willnae share ye, so now she can have ye all to herself.”
Noah thumped on the door a little harder. “Open the door, Saoirse. I ken ye think ye ken what ye’re sayin’, but there’s been a mistake.”
“Aye, there has—me, thinkin’ that ye were startin’ to fall in love with me! Me, thinkin’ that I could somehow keep a place in yer heart!” Saoirse shot back, as tears streamed down her face.
“I’m nae startin’ to fall in love with ye, Saoirse,” Noah replied thickly. “Iamin love with ye. I love ye so much that the thought of losin’ ye is worse than death. I love ye,mo cuishle. Ye are my pulse. Ye’re the reason my heart keeps beating, becauseyewere the one to fix it. So, please, daenae break it again by refusin’ to hear me. Ye’ve been fooled, Saoirse, but nae by me.”
Saoirse’s head lifted in astonishment. So many emotions raged within her that she wasn’t sure if she’d heard him correctly. Had he really just confessed, on the same night that he’d betrayed her?
Could I be mistaken?Confusion struck her mind, until she had to squeeze her palms against her temples to try and prevent her head from exploding.