Noah shook his head as he chewed on his lower lip, struggling to find the right words. “Nay. In fact, ye surprised me.”
“I surprised ye by how loudly I snore?”
He coughed a tight laugh. “Actually, I thought yer snorin’ was adorable.” He shook his head. “Forgive me. My thoughts are muddled. What I mean to say is, I watched ye sleepin’ and kenned that I was in trouble.”
“Because I wasnae what ye wanted?”
“Nay,” Noah’s eyes shot up to her face. “I stole glimpses of ye and thought, here’s the most beautiful lass I’ve ever seen, and she’s in my care now. I watched ye sleep, wishin’ that I was beside ye, holdin’ ye in my arms.”
Noah shuffled closer to her, the cold floor numbing his knees. But he pushed all thoughts of the ache out of his mind, knowing deep down he deserved the punishment of grazed skin.
“Ye have nay idea how much strength it took for me nae to stop the carriage and climb in to be wit’ ye,” he went on. “Nor how much I wanted to kiss ye in the Kirk, as I’ve wanted to kiss ye every moment since we were bound together. The kisses wehaveshared have only made me want ye more, so badly that it hurts sometimes. And I thought—” Noah’s gaze dropped to the floor as he found himself swallowing his pride. “I thought that if I shunned ye and made ye turn cold, the passion burnin’ me alive would go away.”
“And has it?”
“What?” Noah took hold of her hand and rubbed his thumb over the gimmel ring that she hadn’t yet removed. In the back of his mind, he was surprised she didn’t jerk her hand away.
“Tame the passion that is burnin’ ye alive?” she replied. Sarcasm laced her words. He wished he knew the right words to say to her but found himself struggling even more with the mire of language.
“Nay.” He swallowed thickly. “I want ye even more now, despite all I’ve said to ye.”
“Why dinnae ye tell me before? Why did ye make me think ye hated me, in so many awful ways? At our weddin’, for instance, ye dinnae want me to enjoy a moment of it, like ye’d already decided I should be miserable.” Saoirse’s lip trembled as she spoke. He would’ve done anything to kiss the shiver away.
“What was I supposed to say to ye—that I couldnae stand the sight of ye bein’ wit’ another?” Noah confessed. “How I wanted to be the only one to make ye laugh and smile, and feel ye in my arms? Ye have to understand, this is all new to me too. I’ve never been in this sort of predicament before.”
“Is that what I am to ye? A predicament?” Saoirse jerked her hand away.
Noah scrambled to get her hand back, as his head whipped from side to side in a vigorous shake. Clenching his jaw, he wished he could retract the poor choice of word, but it was no use.
“Dae ye want the truth or dae ye want me to lie to ye?”
“What dae ye think?” Saoirse snapped as she crossed her arms over her chest. Noah dropped his hand and shoulders. “I daenae want lies but I daenae want a blunt blow, either.”
“The purpose of this marriage was to bind our Clans together,” he said as humbly as he could. Glancing up to her, he wondered what was going through her mind. Surely, she was aware of what she was getting herself into when her family arranged everything for her.
Tears formed in her eyes. There was no doubt that his words stung, but they were the truth. Desperate to ease the pain on her face, Noah tilted his head up and tried to catch her eye.
“What started as a mere necessity has become somethin’ more. At least for me,” he continued. “Maybe it is because I saw ye as someone I couldnae have and it made me want ye more. Or maybe it was the fact that yer beauty and wit and fiery nature shocked me. After all, I dinnae expect to have a wife that I actually longed for.”
Saoirse brushed away the tears as her eyes drifted to him. It was the first time she had actually looked at him. Properly looked at him. Noah’s heart skipped and hope bubbled within the depths of his soul as he gazed back at her, wishing he could better convey the affection he felt.
“Nor was I expectin’ this passion, this desire for ye to consume me,” he went on, needing her to hear everything. “Saoirse, ye have nay idea what ye dae to me. Please, I need ye to forgive me. I need to be able to see ye without havin’ ye recoil from my touch.” He stretched his hand out to her again in an attempt to touch her.
Hesitantly, she let her fingertips slide across his palm. Before she could utter any word that might send him away, Noah rose up in a rush. Cradling his hand where her jaw met her slender neck, he drew his lips to hers. The tenderness of her mouth on his made his body tingle. All the stress and weight that had been crushing him, vanished as his lips moved against hers, guiding her to the memory of yesterday morning. It had been a dream then, at least for him, but this was real. This, he would not sleep through.
As she kissed him back, the last of his nerves transformed into desire. She wasn’t sending him away, she was pulling him closer, pushing her lips to his with a hunger that he’d thought only he felt. He matched her eagerness, giving into the passion that he’d been holding back since they met, relishing in the press of her body against his. Hot and fierce and wonderful.
“Now,” Saoirse let out a small moan as she molded her body to his, “that was quite the apology.” Curling her arms around his neck, Noah felt as if she were trying to melt into him.
The flowers in his hands dropped to his feet as he wrapped his free arm around her waist and pulled her even closer. It was as if he couldn’t get enough of her. Noah wanted all that she was willing to give him, as his tongue danced with hers.
Yet, a moment later, Saoirse pulled back, sucking in quick bursts of air. Her eyes lingered on his face for a bit, until she regained her breath. Uncertain of what was going through her mind, Noah braced himself. A part of him expected a slap to come crashing across his face, instead he found her rising to the tips of her toes so she could better reach his lips.
“This isnae because ye just want those heirs, is it?” she whispered silkily.
Brushing his thumb over her cheek bone, he gazed into her eyes. “Nay. Only ye are in my thoughts.”
It was like the whole world had stopped. Despite the fact that they were alone in the music room, Noah felt as if every person on Earth had vanished and all that was left was the two of them.