Troubled, Noah sat back in the saddle and stared at the place where he was certain he’d seen her. Caitlin McDullogh. The love and the pain of his life. At the same moment, his stomach growled loudly, and the thick swallow of his throat reminded him that he hadn’t drunk anything since leaving the Castle that morning. If he added to that his fitful slumber last night, it was the perfect recipe for an illusion.
“Ye really dinnae see anyone?” Noah pressed. After all, that was another one of Scott’s gifts—he had the keenest eyesight of anyone that Noah knew, spotting stags in the forest where everyone else saw shadows.
Scott tutted. “Ye really need to take yer wife to bed, M’Laird. Ye’re startin’ to tip into madness from keepin’ yerself unsatisfied. Do ye nae ken it can make a man crazed, to deny himself when there’s a willin’ and beautiful lass before them?”
“I’d blame my hunger and thirst first,” Noah mumbled, searching the trees again. There wasn’t so much as a rustle of retreating footsteps, and even the shadows mocked him with their stillness.
“Aye, well it willnae be long until ye’ve dinner in yer belly and some ale down yer gullet.” Scott stretched out his arms. “Henry ran ahead to inform Mrs. Wellerby. I hope it’s nae pie again. All she ever makes are pies.”
Riding past the spot where Noah thought he had seen Caitlin, he paused for a moment, just to be sure. No telltale grass had been flattened by shoes, no broken twigs either. He squinted deeper into the forest, but everything was still and peaceful.
Maybe I am goin’ mad.After all, the vision had looked exactly like Caitlin a decade ago. There was no possible way that she would still look like that. Even women who aged slowly had some difference about them, after ten years.
This is why I never wanted anyone to speak her name,Noah grumbled inwardly. Like a curse, the mention of her had conjured her back into his mind, making him see things that weren’t there. Nevertheless, he’d cast her from his thoughts once before, and he would do it again. And back then, he hadn’t had a beautiful, spirited wife to occupy his mind.
“Let us be swift,” Noah commanded. Squeezing his thighs, he urged his horse into a gallop, charging along the forest road with the wind whipping at his face.
Tonight, he would apologize. Tonight, he would make amends. Tonight, he wouldn’t run from Saoirse. If anything could anchor him again, it was the taste of her lips on his.
* * *
“Will ye dine with yer wife tonight, or am I to be yer company again?” Scott asked Noah as he slipped off his horse. “Nae that I mind, of course.”
The stable boy rushed to grab the reins from the two men, so he could lead the horses away for cleaning and feeding. Noah gave a small smile to the lad as he watched the boy meander away from them. For a moment, he felt a pang of jealousy. How simple the stable boy’s life was, to be able to just tend to the horses with no real responsibility.
“I wouldnae want to spoil her dinner,” Noah replied, having already changed his mind about apologizing that night. It could wait until tomorrow, once he’d slept properly. “As ye ken, it’s nae all rosy with us, at present.”
“And who’s fault is—”
Noah interrupted before Scott could finish another round of scolding. “Iwasplannin’ to ask her if she’d join me for a drink later,” he lied, “but dinner might be too much.”
“Make sure ye do.” Scott’s frown turned into a smile. “If ye ruin this, ye’ll end up like Old Man Mooney.”
Noah’s heart sank into his stomach as he thought of the old hermit that lived on the moors all alone. Even when he was a child, he was terrified of that old man, never really understanding why the hermit lived so far away from everything and everyone else.
“Ye’ve got to wonder what happened to a man, to make him like that,” Scott added, causing a sharp chill to race down Noah’s spine.
Moving to the Castle’s entrance, Noah paused. He looked at the stone structure before him. Although it wasn’t quite like the desolate moors, cold and disheartening, he still couldn’t help but feel the same shadow of loneliness lingering about the walls and towers.
Scott’s right. Scott is always, irritatingly, right.Saoirse didn’t deserve to be afflicted by the pains of Noah’s past. She was his wife. She had proven herself to be loyal and amusing and intelligent and not afraid to stand up to him when he was being a wretch. After all, she still hadn’t fled. In turn, he now had to prove thathewas worthy of her, and that had to start with the apology that couldn’t, in fact, wait another day.
“Ye look like ye’ve seen a ghost,” Scott said with a chuckle. “Or maybe ye’re wonderin’ what ire awaits ye, the moment ye step inside? And ye wonder why I daenae marry.”
“I doubt Saoirse is the vengeful kind,” Noah replied. He heard his voice shift as his eyes darted to Scott. “Besides, if ire awaits me, I’ve earned it.”
Scott seemed surprised. “Is that so?”
“I think it’s due time I found a way to live wit’ her in peace and harmony, so I daenae end up like Old Man Mooney.” Noah smiled.And if there should be some passion, too, then all the better. Even a whisper of tenderness would be enough, perhaps.
Scott’s hand fell hard on Noah’s shoulder. “I’m proud of ye, M’Laird. So, go and make amends and then love, to yer wife.” He winked. “Soothe her, and I daenae think ye’ll have to worry about any loss of life or limb. She doesnae seem the kind who’d even swat a fly, but maybe ye’ve irked her more than a fly would.”
“Only one way to find out.” Noah lifted his head and charged through the doors.
His heart tightened and his nerves turned to steel as he entered the Castle expecting the worse. The moment he stepped inside though, all his doubts and troubles faded. His mouth dropped as he scoured the entrance hall.
“What in the world?” he mumbled, as he noticed the chandelier sparkling with no trace of cobwebs or dust around the antlers that held the candles. The pictures were straight and the brass plaques under each image seemed to catch the light of the sun beaming through the open door.
Even the air smelled different, like it was lighter and fresher than before. It was almost as if the Castle was fresh and new. Noah glanced to Scott, who wore a lopsided grin.