“I could be,” Noah said defensively.
Scott released as laugh as he flopped down on the chaise, beside Noah. “If ye cannae even bed yer wife, how can I believe ye? That’s the least darin’ thing a man can do.”
“How do ye ken I dinnae?”
Scott arched a knowing eyebrow. “Aside from yer hefty glass of whiskey, the very fact that ye’re here instead of in yer wife’s chamber. Or yer chamber. Or any other place that desire might’ve taken ye.”
“I’m still… bidin’ my time,” Noah muttered as he stole a sip from his cup. “Yer advice wasnae any use.”
Scott wagged a finger. “Och, daenae even dare! There was nothin’ wrong with me advice. It’s ye that’s all wrong.”
“In what respect?” Noah framed it with a note of derision, but he was genuinely curious. Whatwaswrong with him?
“To begin with, ye like the lass and she likes ye, though I cannae understand why when ye’ve been a cold fish to her since ye met,” Scott replied, holding nothing back. “That should see the pair of ye in yer chamber for a week, only emergin’ to replenish yer appetite. Yet, ye’re runnin’ away from that lass’ sweet delights for reasons that daenae make a bit of sense to me. But I do ken that if ye keep rejectin’ her, she’s goin’ to be the one turnin’ cold on ye.”
“That’s what I want,” Noah mumbled.
“Nay, ye daenae, and that’s what’s wrong with ye.” Scott swilled his drink. “Ye put all this weight to the word “love,” but it’s just a word. A little one, too. Daenae let it scare ye. Daenae even think about it. Just think of yer wife and all the things ye could enjoy, without forcin’ too much meanin’ on it. All that can come later.”
“And ye think Saoirse would accept that?” Noah rolled his eyes.
Undeterred, Scott nodded eagerly. “I think she’d accept anythin’, right now. She’s away from her family, she’s got nay one to confide in, and she’s probably feelin’ very small and unwanted, when the latter couldnae be further from the truth. Remedy that, for the love of all that’s good! For both yer sakes. Or did ye nae think I saw the way ye looked at her on the way here? Tell me, how many glimpses did ye steal while she was in the carriage?”
“I was checkin’ on her welfare,” Noah insisted.
“Aye, of course ye were.” Scott chuckled. “And then there was the dance floor, where yer face turned the color of a radish because ye thought she was dancin’ wit’ that Highlander. So, let me be sure—is that the way a man reacts if there’s nae feelin’ at all?”
Noah scowled at his glass. “Ye daenae ken what ye’re talkin’ about. I turned red out of embarrassment, nae jealousy.”
“I never said otherwise.” Scott grinned as if he’d won a grand victory. “Sounds like yewerejealous though, or ye wouldnae have mentioned it.”
Of course, Scott was right. They both knew it, but there was no way that Noah was going to admit it out loud.
Sometimes, I hate that we’ve kenned one another for so long,Noah grumbled inwardly.
“I daenae hear a protest.” Scott looked annoyingly smug.
“Aye, because there’s nae use in protestin’ when ye’ve decided ye willnae believe me anyway. Ye’ve created a story in yer head and ye’re goin’ to stick to it stubbornly nay matter what I say,” Noah growled, gripping the glass tighter. For a moment, he thought it might shatter in his hand.
Worried by the intensity of his emotions and the many destructive ways in which they were revealing themselves, he slowly eased his hold on the fragile crystal and set it on the table next to him.
“Ye like her,” Scott persevered. “And it’s perfectly natural for ye to. Ye’re married to the lass. Sooner or later, she’ll get under yer skin, and all of this pretendin’ will be a thing of the past. When that day comes, I ken I willnae find ye in here anymore, and that’s when I’ll ken that my work is done.”
Noah felt his throat closing. “I thought I could heed yer words, Scott.” A face flashed before his eyes. “I… wanted to. I really did, but then… she spoke of love, and I kissed her, and it all came rushin’ back, and… I couldnae be near her anymore. Ihadto leave her in her chamber. Ihadto come here, or my skull would’ve burst.”
Scott straightened up like someone had shoved a rod up his spine. “Ye kissed her? Why did ye nae begin with that? Och, here I was, thinkin’ ye’d gotten nowhere with the lass, and now ye give me this juicy morsel.”
“It’s nae the great achievement that ye think,” Noah murmured, as that face bombarded his mind again. “All I’ve done is get her hopes up, and all for naught. Kissin’ her, wantin’ her, and freezin’ when it mattered… I realized that I’m more broken than I thought.”
He closed his eyes and that face appeared one more time, lingering in his mind like a disease. A face he both had and hadn’t thought of in years. Beautiful beyond words and just as cruel. The thorn of her pricked his heart, and he could have sworn it drew blood.
Scott shuffled closer. “I swear on all that’s holy that I willnae let ye destroy this because of that blood-sucking sow, Caitlin McDullogh.”
The name pressed the thorn deeper into Noah’s heart, until he was gulping for air. He had avoided speaking it aloud for as long as she had been gone from his life.
“We agreed that ye’d never say that name in my presence,” he wheezed, flashing a pained stare at Scott.
“Aye, well it seems I’ve trodden too softly around that witch and her name,” Scott replied fiercely. “I should’ve shouted her name at ye until ye could drown it out, like gatherin’ chatter. I should’ve forced ye to bleed out the poison of her alongtime ago, so ye wouldnae be sittin’ here now, about to ruin yer marriage before it has even begun.”