His dark eyes gleamed, and the power there almost made her gasp. But all he did was smile. Slightly. “Is there a way that you can share those sentiments without resorting to name-calling and insolence, do you think? Right now that’s a question. The next time I get you naked and on your knees, however, you may find there are consequences for such responses.”
Erika hugged herself a little bit harder. “All your life, you’ve been just like this. Aloof. Arrogant. Even when you were a teenager.”
“I’m delighted you were paying attention.”
He moved to an espresso machine that had its own countertop, and pulled two shots. Then he pulled out a carton of cream from his great steel refrigerator, poured a hefty dollop into the cup and slid it to her.
And Erika’s stomach twisted a little as she stared down at it.
“How do you know how I like my coffee?” Her voice was faint.
“You’re not the only one who pays attention.”
She felt shaky, suddenly. She wished she had something better to wear than one of his shirts with the sleeves rolled up. She wished her hair wasn’t still damp and clinging to her neck. She wished she could, just once, control herselfbeforemaking a mess.
“I really am fine,” she made herself say. She lifted the coffee he’d made her and took a sip, then forced a smile. Because, of course, it was perfect. Exactly how she liked it. “Better than fine, now.”
“Why am I not surprised to hear that?” Dorian asked, and the lightness of his voice was at distinct odds with all that intensity in his gaze. It made her worry. It made her wet. “Most people have intense reactions to their first real BDSM experience, but not you, of course. Not Erika Vanderburg, recklessly careening through life, heedless and untouched by anyone or anything.”
And she might have described herself that way yesterday, but she didn’t like him doing it. Not today. It felt like a slap of his hand, and not because he was teaching her a lesson, but because he wanted to hurt her. A crucial distinction.
“I do notcareen. I travel. Iexplore.”
He smiled again, but it didn’t exactly soothe her. He slid a plate in front of her, and it took her a few moments to realize it was...food. He’d put together a typical German breakfast of rolls, cheeses, meats and sausages. There were jams and honey, butter and mustard. Even boiled eggs.
And as she stared at the feast he quietly set out before her—matter-of-factly, really, as if he served her food every day of her life—Erika realized she was ravenous.
He’d known that, somehow. He’d known it in the same way he’d known exactly how to touch her last night to make her break, then burn.
Something deep inside her quivered.
But it didn’t keep her from eating.
“Why did you leave university?” Dorian asked, conversationally.
It was a strange question, but she had warm German bread and she couldn’t seem to concentrate on anything else.
“It wasn’t the right place for me,” she told him.
“Was it not for you or was it another way for you to practice self-sabotage?” he asked, his voice so mild she was starting to smile at him before his words penetrated. “That is what you like to do, is it not? You were a decent student, by all accounts. I believe your brother even praised you after your second-year marks came in—and you couldn’t have that. You only like attention when it’s negative.”
She swallowed, carefully, and set her roll down. Suddenly she wasn’t hungry any longer. “What is this?”
And though she was standing there at the counter across from him in his bright and happy kitchen, she felt as if she was back in that hallway. What was wrong with her that she wanted to kneel while he took her apart?Again?
Yes, please, something in her whispered.
But he wasn’t finished.
“When your father died, you went off the rails. Your brother took on all the responsibility, and you chose instead to make certain you were the enduring thorn in his side. I assumed that was because you were as thoughtless and empty-headed as you’ve acted over the years, but you’re not, are you? You only want people tothinkyou are.”
“People think what they want.” She scowled at him. “And I never asked Conrad to take responsibility for me. It seems to have escaped both his notice and yours that I actually have a living, breathing parent.”
“Your mother might be the most truly self-centered human being I’ve ever met, and my father is an addict.”
He wasn’t wrong about Chriszette, and yet hearing him say that about her felt like a betrayal. Erika might complain about her, or want to complain about her, but she didn’t like Dorian doing it. Especially because he was right.
Now he was studying her like she was a book he was reading and finding lacking. Deeply, profoundly lacking.