Suddenly it was imperative she put an end to this farce.
Mina was on her feet before she had time to think about it. ‘I need to talk with you.’
Alexei stood so close her nostrils quivered at that delicious tang of citrus and cedar with base notes of warm male. Mina wanted to step away but he’d notice. He noticed everything.
‘Of course.’ He gestured to the chairs grouped on the wide veranda. ‘Shall we sit?’
Mina was too agitated to sit. ‘Let’s walk.’ Now she’d decided on her course of action she wanted it done. With luck, in a few hours she’d be on her way to Paris. Fiercely she smothered a pang of disappointment at the idea.
He wasn’t good for her. No man who distracted her this way could be.
‘Of course.’ He turned towards the path that led to the beach. When they reached the fine sand Mina tugged off Carissa’s pink sandals and put them to one side. Alexei, she noticed, was already barefoot. She liked the shape of his feet, the strength and composition of bone, vein, heel and arch.
The next time she sculpted a male nude she’d search for a model with feet and hands like Alexei. There was something powerful and appealing about them.
Catching her thoughts, Mina closed her eyes in self-disgust.
‘Carissa? What is it? Surely nothing too bad?’ For once there was no challenge or humour in Alexei’s tone. He sounded concerned. ‘Are you okay?’
‘Absolutely.’ She wiped her face of expression. ‘But I need to tell you something.’
‘I’m all ears.’
He began walking along the beach, heading for the hard-packed sand near the water. Mina fell into step beside him, wondering how to proceed. In the end she decided a direct approach was best.
‘I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, Alexei, and I can’t marry you.’
For a heartbeat he said nothing. Then he turned his head to survey her, his easy stride never faltering.
‘Can’t? Is there some barrier I don’t know about?’
Because, of course, it would never occur to him that she didn’twantto marry him.
‘I’m not ready for marriage. I’m just turning twenty-three.’ Yet many of her peers in Jeirut were married with children.
‘Whereas I’m past thirty.’
‘It’s not that.’ As soon as she said it, Mina could have bitten her tongue. Predictably Alexei pounced on her comment.
‘So what is it?’ His tone was even, yet she fancied she caught something sharp behind the smooth cadence.
‘It’s not the right decision for me.’ She should have known he’d probe. She should have taken time to get her excuse straight instead of grabbing the first opportunity to talk.
Alexei stopped and Mina was forced to halt. Reluctantly she turned and looked up at him. Behind his head, out to sea, dark storm clouds built, promising rain and relief from the sultry weather. For Mina, raised in a dry climate, the air felt heavy and close, almost claustrophobic. It made her edgy.
Or perhaps that was Alexei’s sharp scrutiny. No trace now of the understanding, almost easygoing man she’d glimpsed lately.
‘So it’s not the age gap. What, then? The idea of having my children?’
Mina stood, mesmerised by the gleam in those stunning eyes. She felt something burgeon deep inside. Excitement. A well of tenderness as she imagined a toddler with black hair and green eyes, its expression morphing from serious to mischievous. Alexei’s child. And hers.
Her heart dipped and a vast tremor shuddered through her.
It was preposterous. She’d known the man mere days. She had no plans for kids anytime soon.
Yet what she felt at that deep, visceral level couldn’t be denied.
‘No, you want children, don’t you, Mina?’ Alexei’s voice was a soft thread, drawing through her, making her suddenly, shockingly aware that he was right.